Pear Shaped
by AmniIsRoving
Summary: Harry Potter saved the British Wizarding World at 17, and then spent the next five years cleaning up after it. However, across the pond things have begun to heat up in the UMSNA, and he's got orders by the new Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt to clean out the remainder Deatheaters as well as supervise and inform the handlers of a powerful artifact called the Tesseract! HP/?
1. Chapter 1: Mishandled Business

A/N: Cross over! This is why you don't read crossovers that are amazing but are few!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the Avengers. I dabble in plot bunnies. I played with the time line as well, it's been moved up by several years, how many? F if I know, it is, I will tell you, 2012. Other than that? Eeeeeeh, I'm not certain. Probably nine. The Wizarding world is still backwards, but WWW has started progressing and they now have magical items similar to Muggle items, you'll see. =)

* * *

**Pear Shaped**

Chapter 1: Mishandled Business

Harry was pissed. Wait perhaps pissed was too mild a term. Harry was enraged so far past the point of reason it came to where it was pure blank focus. Hyper focused and hyper sensitive he glared at the new Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt and yelled, "DEATHEATERS ENDED UP _WHERE?!" _The last word was a drawn out hiss and the other man hunched a bit.

"Harry I understand you're upset," Shaklebolt said shuffling papers awkwardly. Harry slammed his palms down flat on the wooden table, his magic flared violently cracking it and the window in the office. The Minister suppressed a flinch. At twenty-two Harry Potter had served the last five years an Unspeakable, no training needed or required. The young man in front of him had obtained a new power level that the modern Wizarding world hadn't seen in centuries. There were talk in the shadier and more secretive parts of the Department of Mysteries that he might be as powerful as _Merlin._

"Upset?" He hissed. "I fought a bloody war, spent the past five years hunting down those flaming bastards and you tell me that they've joined up with the Muggle Mafia in the United States of America?! What the bloody hell Shacklebolt! I thought we got the last of them six months ago! That's why I agreed to taking a two month vacation. I leave and come back to THIS bullshit?! What do you want from me? Am I or am I not your most powerful Hit Wizard? Unspeakable? Am I _not _being groomed to be head of that department in the next ten years or is something else expected of me?" The Minister flinched with accusation and shuffled his papers a few more times before giving up.

"I thought we had wiped them out!" Kingsley finally snapped back. "You know how difficult it is to learn who all served him. _Not all were bloody marked!_ Plus there were, and ARE, plenty of dark sympathizers that are trying to rally around a new power! Some still think you soft for your decision on not committing a genocide of their magical side. Or did forget you spared the Malfoys' during their trials three years ago?"

"That's different!" Harry barked, "and you damn well know why I did it as well. Either way, their either on house arrest for another five years in the case of Draco Malfoy, or like Lucius Malfoy is for interim! Narcissa Malfoy was never involved and saved my life, thus saving Britain. I paid my dues or are you forgetting who got saddled with the responsibility of saving the whole British Wizarding World, at least _five _times?"

"Enough!" Kingsley said throwing his hands up. "What do you want me to do? I've got the United Magical States of North America (UMSNA) breathing down my neck, as well as Wizengamot! Those damn bats are driving me up the bloody hellish wall! They're terrified we'll be dealing with another Dark Lord, but this time from foreign shores!" Harry and Kingsley both went silent. Harry paced front of the fireplace dragging his hands through his hair, his plain Unspeakable robes silently drifting around him, a paradox to his hazardous movements. He finally stopped.

"What's the bloody UMSNA breathing down your neck for?" Harry asked plopping down in the chair in front of Kingsley. The older black man sighed before scrubbing his face.

"They're trying to wash their hands of the whole thing," the minister grumbled. "They don't want to be dealing with 'British' terrorist. Never mind that the fact their Muggle side discovered a rare and ancient artifact and are _testing it_ without a wizard or witch supervising." Harry groaned in misery shoving his face into his hands.

"Goddammit!" He snapped. "Fucking bureaucrats! What the hell are they thinking? Did they even say what the blasted thing is?" Kingsley winced and started shuffling papers again, highly agitated. The man finally stopped, stood, and paced the room like a caged tiger.

"You're not going to like this..." The man said finally stopping. Harry arched a brow as if asking if there had been a chance of him liking it. The other man smirked sardonically. "The Muggle side has recently rediscovered the Tesseract." Kingsley braced for the explosion that followed, mentally thankful for the privacy and silencing wards around his office. He wasn't disappointed.

_"THOSE IDIOTS' MUGGLE SIDE FOUND ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS POWER BASED MAGICAL ARTIFACTS AND THEIR MAGICAL GOVERNMENT DIDN'T INTERVENE?! DO THEY WANT TO GET KILLED OR REVEALED?!"_

* * *

None to say the least it took several hours to calm Harry down, and poor Kingsley required an entirely redecorated and fixed office afterward. The man labeled the Chosen One, the Boy-Who-Lived, the Savior of the Wizarding World, sat slumped against the wall next to Kingsley a bottle of firewhiskey half drunken in his hand.

"What do you need me to do Kings?" Harry asked tiredly. The tirade, and the long port key from the Bahamas, finally catching up with him. It was a little after two am, dawn a good three hours away. His long blood red robes, lacking both his markings as a Commander in the Hit Wizard squads, were slightly burnt, slashed and knotted in places. He could change into his better outfits with a simple switching charm, but he didn't bother with it right now. He had more important things, like his alcohol, to worry about.

"I was hoping you wouldn't mind heading overseas. I need you to see if you can't talk them into you supervising the Tesseract and the studies. I'll be sending trained squads after the Deatheaters to back up their limited military. I just need you to try to keep it from going absolutely pear shaped." Kingsley said tiredly taking a drink from his own bottle of firewhiskey. Harry, even when loosing control, made sure to spare his liquor cabinet which he was absolutely thankful for, he wouldn't know what he'd do without his liquor or headache potions some days. Tired and more than a little half drunk, Harry giggled and said.

"Ah, hell, when I get called in it's already going pear shape, let's just hope it doesn't reach 'saving the world' stage til after I get there." The black man snorted and scrubbed his bald head, fingering a few scars.

"You'll leave as soon as you can?" Kingsley queried. Harry nodded after knocking back a large gulp of liquor.

"Let me get some shit in order, pick up some crap, take a shower, and write a letter to 'Mione and I'll catch the first Ministry made port key to the District of Columbia I can. You'll handle the paperwork?" Harry said capping his alcohol and shrinking it to go.

"There'll be an owl going out as soon as you leave, I'll send a copy to you." The other man responded.

"Good, I'm going to finish this bottle to go, and make sure to pack a few Sober-Up potions. I'll be leaving before, at, or slightly after dawn." Harry clambered to his feet. Giving the man a nod, Harry left the office rather unsteadily. As the door shut with a final click, Kingsley chugged his firewhiskey back for a few minutes before gasping.

"I bloody well hope he doesn't make another crater, it's fucking hard to label them all as gas explosions."

* * *

Harry Potter stood firmly as he landed in the port-in area of the UMSNA ministry building. Strolling through the atrium he stopped before a blank black wall and tapped his wand against it irritably. It opened and the fellow wizards in the area stared after him gobsmacked, although there few being it only slightly after midnight there. After all, a foreign Unspeakable in Commander Robes was not something one saw everyday. Stomping down the metal gangway he entered an elevator and jabbed the Minister Office button with irritation, they shut and Harry nursed the lingering headache from his hangover. The doors opened to a brightly lit hallway with multiple white, unmarked doors, and a neatly dressed Caucasian in a black suit with Scribe robes waiting to greet him.

"Unspeakable Commander Phoenix?" He queried Harry waved at him impatiently. His robe's hood was drawn up as per regulations, obscuring his face. His blood red robes with twin black lines drawing down from his shoulder's black with gold trim to the robe's black and gold stripped borders. The robes were closed to his waist opening to show the black dragon skin pants and thigh high black and silver lined dragon leather boots. The sleeves of the robes were body conforming allowing for no loose fabric and no determent of movement and covered in black dragon leather gloves and gobling steel studs. _An imposing figure,_ the minor official thought with a slight tremor of fear. He bowed and ushered the Unspeakable into a long rectangular meeting room. He closed the door after him, leaving him waiting alone. Finally a wall section opened and the UMSNA president, George M. Corners, and Secretary of Magical Defenses, Earl Greynolds, strode in.

"Commander, it's just so splendid to have you here! I must say, it's not often we get someone of your caliber here. You'll be taking in the sights I trust?" the man said jovially. Harry's eyes narrowed dangerously. He didn't take the hand offered, and Greynolds had already guessed the two military men would greet each other once the 'idiot in charge' left.

"I do hope you aren't considering my coming here a fun side trip, President," Harry whispered lowly. The man flinched before clearing his voice, and dropped his hand, wiping it nervously against his pants.

"Erm, yes, please take a seat." Corners motioned, the Defense Secretary seemed to be growing more and more irritated with the pudgy round flesh calling itself the leader of his country. Harry looked the stern, sleet gray haired man in the eye, and a feeling of understanding seemed to pass between them. All negotiations would be between them, the 'president' was obviously unable to make the correct military decision, though would serve as a slightly adequate political and social figure.

"I was informed by my Minister that you have word on the terrorists that plagued us in the last war, as well as an artifact of immense importance." Harry rasped. His voice was cloaked, just as his face and body, a series of spells meant to prevent his identity from being known by anyone of lesser importance.

"Indeed," the Defense Secretary said in a cold voice. "We've been tracking them for the past year, although our president only recently decided to inform your government of the proceedings. The artifact has not been dealt with in the least." Harry's eye twitched. Behind him the door's wooden frame cracked. The President paled while the Defense Secretary seemed to be in silent agreement with the clear sign of annoyance and power. It would take a powerful wizard to handle all the necessary affairs, on top of handling two enormous and potentially deadly screw ups.

"Is that so? Is this another Mjolnir incident, President Corners?" Harry said coldly. The man flinched. "Are you going to leave this to the Muggles as well?"

"We-well..." The man sputtered.

"The President isn't going to prevent you from intervening Commander Phoenix. He's merely here to welcome you and promise you his assistance while you are here in the UMSNA. You'll be working as a liaison with me." Greynolds cut in. The President looked at him thankfully while Harry bit back the urge to punt the fat little idiot out of the room. It was hard to believe, but the man seemed to be even worse than Fudge, what was with complete idiots gaining office?

"Oh, well then, I thank you for your welcome. Is there anything else you think you can accomplish with me being here?" Harry said a fraction more warmly. The man paled and shook his head in denial.

"I-I'll leave you boys to your work, if you need anything-" The man trailed off and finally left. Harry looked at Greynolds and sighed in annoyance.

"I believe Kings said he'd be sending Potter?" The man asked. Harry shoved shoved back his hood with a nod. He watched the other man study his face and wondered what Greynolds stared at most. The lightning bolt scar, perhaps? Maybe the Avada Kevada green eyes no longer blocked by thick chunky glasses. Hell, even the fire scars that trailed up the left side of his face from a run in with Fiendfyre that hadn't gone nearly as well as the time in the Room of Requirement might be catching his gaze. Sizing each other up the pair stood once more and greeted each other with firm handshakes. "An honor to meet you Harry Potter."

"Me too, Greynolds, Kings always complained about never being able to convince you to transfer to Britain, even with those bribes." Harry replied with a slight grin before growing serious. "I believe Kingsley sent me here in hopes, in his terms, this doesn't go pear shaped. Or at least to minimize it."

"I won't lie to you Commander Phoenix," he growled angrily, tiredly, changing back to the codename. "It's a clusterfuck of Alaskan proportions."

"What can I do? I understand that I'll have to step in with your Muggle relations... However, I think we both can understand why it is necessary. The fact that Muggles investigated the last two incidents..." Harry's head throbbed at the thought, not longer hurting because of the liberal amount of alcohol he had earlier that day. The man across from him rubbed his eyes with frustration equally distraught over the situation.

"It's been like that since the Muggle Second World War. Isolationist stance and weak, non military trained presidents. We've never had a Dark Lord problem like you've had across the pond. We deal with radicals here and there, but it's pretty low key. We don't know how to handle when Norse Gods come to town or when something that powerful gets taken by Muggles on such a scale. Most of our government are used to how efficient and quick the Muggle side is to hush everything up. They've got a steady hand at sweeping it under the carpet." The man tried to explain, and I nodded in understanding. The British Ministry of Magic had been similar in that case; underfunded, untrained, and highly unreliable. It was mostly a miracle we'd survived the war. With Ministers like Fudge and officials like Crouch we were often left looking embarrassed. We were still repairing spots.

"I understand, the British Ministry of Magic is still reeling in places. Although there's been a severe increase in funding for our Aurors." Harry replied.

"It helps the their Savior is so hellishly determined and capable." The man said with half a grin. Harry bent his head in acknowledgment of the complement. He pulled out a small jeweled orb and Harry grinned. The man stood and Harry did as well, it was obvious that the briefing was going to be short. "Put that into your Magic-ConCom and we'll be good to go. It contains all the necessary information. I understand that the necessary teams will be transferring over in the next week or so, and that if there's any interference required on their part, or if it goes over their heads you'll come in and handle it?" Harry smiled, and it was a feral.

"Oh, of course," Harry said lifting his hood back up. "I am the youngest and most experienced Unspeakable Commander in about two hundred years, _globally_. You have my contact set up?"

"You'll meet General Fury in the next twenty-four hours for certain. The globe will take you to your temporary rooms, and you've been released by your government and ours to give any necessary information, Statue of Secrecy be damned." Greynolds said with a smile equally fierce.

"Excellent." Harry said. "I bid you a good morning then Secretary Greynolds."

"You too, Unspeakable Commander Phoenix." The man said formally. Harry gave a formal salute then activated the small orb by slipping it into a slim rectangular shaped piece of metal. Flashing into a hotel room looking over the Potomac Harry settled in for several hours of file reviewing. He had a meeting with some damn trigger happy Muggles soon.

* * *

Harry wasn't disappointed. He also wasn't impressed. Nick Fury was an intimidating, older black man missing an eye. _It's like he's a mixture between Kings and Mad-eye, _Harry thought grumpily as he set his paper to the side and took another sip of his tea. He'd been called, then _ordered_ to meet with the Director in charge of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, or SHIELD, the next morning. The fact they had set it up at six didn't particularly help his mood either.

"I didn't think Greynolds would have you dropping in so..." He eyed the muscle strategically placed in multiple places throughout the small tea house and square. "Actually, I don't have a word for it."

"You're the contact?" The man growled. Harry notched an eyebrow.

"Take a seat director," he said motioning to the seat across from him. "I wish you no ill will." He said when the man merely eyed it before glaring at him.

Nick was perturbed by the British man sitting before him. Lithe and short, but in no way weak, the man's position seemed to scream battle-ready veteran, but he barely looked out of school. Early twenties at the latest he supposed. Fury sunk into the seat, watching him suspiciously.

"I was surprised to be contacted by a whole new government. One that's been in my country since it's founding." Nick said warily. Harry smirked sipping his tea.

"It is understandable." Harry said nonchalantly. He'd gotten better at the political and chess like movements that seemed to define the government.

"That may be, but I don't understand why I've been contacted." Fury said harshly. Harry sighed and set his cup down with a distinct clink. He crossed his hands on the table, and the other man subtly tensed. Harry smirked before his blank mask returned to his face.

"The Tesseract," Harry said flatly. The man's gaze sharpened dangerously.

"And how do you know about it? It's obvious you are a foreigner. It's something that most of our government doesn't even have a wit about."

"It's because your government, in the eyes of mine, are fiddling with things exceedingly dangerous to us." Harry said coldly. "Tell me Mr. Fury, what does your government understand about the source of the Tesseract and it's powers?" The man's gaze intensified.

"Explain yourself Mr...?"

"Potter," Harry said calmly, "Harry Potter, you must excuse me for lacking a proper introduction." The man's expression slide through a series of intense emotions. It finally settled on a small sampling of respect, and plenty of surprise and suspicion.

"Are you telling me that my government is concerning itself with the Savior of Britain, the Boy-Who-Lived?" Nick said surprised. He'd heard whispers of a young lad who'd defeated a terrible terrorist group five years ago. Studying the calm confidence in the man before him, Nick wasn't sure whether he believed it or whether to recruit the illusive bastard. The file on his was half a page long and he _despised_ not having the necessary information.

"I'm saying my _government,_ and this a frank remark, is startled, angered and _worried_ at how yours is handling it's" Harry paused and stared into the other man's eyes seriously. "_Peculiarities._ Really, how you handled Mjolnir... I'm surprised the statue hasn't been broken." Nick filled away the word _statue_ for later, the way the young man was referring to it, meant it was something big.

"Explain why your government is concerning itself with this matter," Nick said flatly. Harry sighed.

"Turn off your com," he said equally flatly. "What I say after this is classified information and will not go to some idiot who'll inform it to his gossiping wife after a bout of sex." The black man blinked a few times, studied the other man, the absolute tension he projected, and mentally cursed himself for what he was about to do.

"I can't, the whole place is bugged, but I can take you to a.. Safer place for this conversation." Nick responded. Harry drained his cup of tea with one long pull before standing. Eying the man as he moved to stand he touched his forearm briefly.

"You have some understanding of my reputation," he said softly the other man studied him carefully, his grip tightened momentarily, a clear warning, before saying, "Don't mistake it for all that I am. Or the best information." Releasing his grip he slipped out of the store and into the black car that suddenly appeared. Fury followed, his mask covering his worry and annoyance. Seeing one of his operatives on the floor and another tied up in a seat near the driver he sighed. Harry merely poured himself a glass of brandy from the car's bar. Taking a casual sip he glanced at the man with a droll expression.

"I must say Director, your little minions are quite cute." Harry mused. "The two of them thought I was an assassin. You're as paranoid as one of my old professors. If he wasn't dead I'd swear you two would make a perfect pair of nutcases." Fury merely sighed again before pinning his driver's head with a glare. The man gave a subtle shrug, there'd been nothing he could have done in the few seconds. Nick shut the door and enabled the anti-tracking and secrecy devices with a subtle twist of his hand. The doors locked and the British man eyed the machinery with a lack of care that belied confidence not missing skill.

"Drive," Nick growled. Making sure all of the agents were truly knocked out and not responding, and that the privacy window was up between the passengers and driver, he glanced at the slender young man sipping a hundred year old brandy as if it was water. "Explain." Harry smiled and he did. Two hours later Fury was plotting how to convince his government into letting the Magical branch work with his military and whether or not it was possible to enlist this young man into one of his older projects.

"And that's the general outline," Harry said with a sigh. The two hours had been spent explaing the outline factors of the Wizarding world, what the Deatheaters were, why he was there, the basic concerns his and their government had, as well as what the Statue of Secrecy was. He'd even had to change one of the agents (who was still passed out) into a pig, before the man took it as truth. He'd then had to explain his position and a little of his professional duties.

"So you're a commander of a special division responsible for understanding and fighting obscure sources of danger. As well as, preventing non-magical, non-politically needed members of the world from discovering you." Fury said and Harry nodded. "And the terrorist you faced down was a power hungry wizard who dabbled in dangerous areas of your magic and lead his followers into an attempted genocide of multiple people in your society and the non-magical people of the world." Harry nodded again. "How long ago was this?"

"Five years since it ended, though it's been going on since the late sixties early seventies. There was a brief lag in the nineties when the man was incapacitated. I was able to defeat him after a long year of chasing down multiple problems that impeded his death. I've spent the past five cleaning up and trying to organize our rather shaken government."

"Cleaning up? As in it's not over?" Nick asked.

"I was informed after a two month vacation that they decided to get new helpers and transplant." Harry said grimly. Nick realized exactly where the transplant was if Harry was in the United States, although perhaps the Tesseract would have caused him to be here as well.

"So you're here to... Weed them out?" Nick asked gravely. Harry nodded.

"I hope you don't mind some of your mafia going missing. My teams are better but they aren't always very controlled." He said glibly.

"Will you be needing help?" Nick hoped to get some operatives from this or perhaps more information. Harry shook his head.

"Your people would be endangered, so no. Leave this to me and my men. I have a close friend, I don't doubt, that will be coming over to handle it and work in sync with me. He'll keep them straight, they and he know better than to screw around like they've been doing for the past year. Sending fourth grades right out of trainee school... Incompetents." Harry said with a sneer. Nick suppressed the urge to do the same. They discussed the Deatheater problem for a bit longer before Harry asked about how soon they'd be seeing the Tesseract.

"We'll be headed to the base containing the specimen soon, there we'll be meeting one of my operatives. Your baggage is already being secured." Nick said.

"No need for that. I have it, anything left that they try to remove from the room will cause unpleasant consequences, so tell them to leave it alone." Harry told him calmly. "I can always pop back and get anything I need at a later date if I need it, it's mostly clothes." Harry had learned to leave little behind, there's was only a few potion supplies (all legal and would only cause some confusion. The more illegal and dangerous ones were on his person in a bag with a infinite expandable charm with the rest of his stuff) and a few extra pairs of pants and shirts.

"If you say so," Nick said eying him. Harry was dressed in a tan leather trench coat over a dark green sweater, black slacks and patent leather shoes. Smiling mysteriously and with a hint of humor the other man didn't elaborate which annoyed Nick, but he properly guessed that it involved magic, something he could try and pry out of Potter later. Within ten hours they were driving to a secret research facility labeled Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S. Stepping into a white walled hallway the duo were instantly greeted by a rather frantic young woman with short black hair and a headset.

"Director!" She exclaimed. The note of relief on her face was disconcerting. Nick quickly barked orders as they stopped in a wide area with low seating.

"Status report Agent Hill, I'm not liking the fact I walked into emergency alarms and lock down procedures." Harry stood silently by his clasped loosely around the handle of a serrated knife.

"Sir," she bare glanced at the well dressed man next to her director though she noted his position and stance automatically. "The Tesseract suddenly activated and a strange man calling himself Loki stepped out and stole it while kidnapping a number of civilians. It appeared that he had some sort of scepter and was using it to control the minds of multiple operatives in his burglary and then immediate escape. Of those left behind, many are currently comatose and unresponsive. One, I am afraid to say, is Agent Barton." Nick felt a twitch start in his remaining eye. Harry hissed out a long annoyed breath.

"I'm going to have to notify people Fury," Harry said quietly. The black man's eye cut to him and gave a look. Harry guessed it perfectly. "We'll have a better chance of tracking it if my guesses are correct. Using both our sources in combination with yours may tip the scales. Our researchers are better at this type of thing after all. Anything I do will have to fly low, but anything you do I can help in."

"Do it," Nick said annoyed with the reasoning. His gaze cut to Hill. She flinched a bit. "Get me Agent Romanoff, we're starting up the Avengers Initiative." She saluted and was dismissed. Rubbing his eye tiredly he glanced at the back of the young man a few feet away talking lowly into a strange piece of metal. Harry glanced back at him and the pair exchanged a look, things had just gone from fucked to pear shaped.

* * *

A/N: AHAHAHAHA... I read to much of this crossover, so I wanted to try it out. Consider Harry for now... As an Honorary Member, consultant, or whatever. I'm not sure if this'll be slash, so suggestions are wanted. Also, uhm... Review anyway? I need the feed back to make this even better. It's an experiment until some says the hate it. I feel pretty nervous about it actually. I can see this blowing up in my face. .


	2. Chapter 2: Phoenix Meets the Hulk

A/N:

To my reviewers: I apologize for any mishaps in the last chapter, I proofread it after being up for twenty hours, and thanks for all the encouragement. Right now I don't see this going slash, or having a pair. I think I'll keep Harry single, maybe in later chapters I'll change my mind, but right now it's just too difficult to slip in any yummy love goodness. My apologies, but I hope you still keep reading! I'm so surprised by how many of you have read, commented, alerted and favorited! Thanks ever so much for the support, I'll try my best not to let you down! Uhm, I'll correct any mishaps I had in chapter 1 eventually, so apologies for a few things once more, and thank you to those who saw the errors and notified me, I try my best but I don't have a beta and my PR skills sometimes miss things.

Also! A note for the time line, I was getting worried about getting everything... Messed up, I guess you could say, and checked the movie time line that's available online if you google and snoop around a bit, and found out I have to move this up about three years to meet my 2012 year date (I think it was a rather ambiguous time line without any clear years listed). My apologies if any of you are rather baffled by my rambling. I'll include a link and a manually written time line at the end to help keep things straight.

Responses to a few commentators:

Vukk: The answer to your question... Hehehehe, you'll find out =)

Ivy Raven: Thanks for the great critiques, I always try my best, but things slip. I might get a beta, but for now I'll do my best a PRing it myself. I also meant Hill, but my brain was writing at hour twenty for being awake and combined Maria and Hill to get Mills. Why? I'm not particularly certain, but I'll try to fix it later.

This chapter is dedicated to the first favorite, even if I did put this up around midnight, Wondrom. Here's lookin' at you kid. (yes cheesy line, don't asked when I last slept, it's an obscure but fond memory)

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the Avengers. I dabble in plot bunnies. I played with the time line as well, it's been moved up by several years, how many? F if I know, it is, I will tell you, 2012. Other than that? Eeeeeeh, I'm not certain. Probably nine. The Wizarding world is still backwards, but WWW has started progressing and they now have magical items similar to Muggle items, you'll see. =)

(PS- Watch out for grammar mistakes, I don't have a beta and I'm no Superhero of Grammar.)

* * *

_**Pear Shaped**_

_Definition: something that's gone wrong, become a disaster _

**Chapter 2: Phoenix meets the Hulk**

"Potter!" Harry turned towards Nick after closing his connection. "We're leaving." The man said as Harry strode back to his side. The older black man had just finished listening to how the head researcher of the artifact and one of his best operatives was missing and was distinctly displeased. The fact that the operative was responsible for most of the deaths of his other fellow operatives was just as upsetting as knowing those two were gone.

"Your clusterfuck is growing director." Harry replied as they left the rubble of the former research facility behind. "Greynolds told me it had already reached Alaskan, maybe if you're lucky it'll stop at Mexican."

"Fuck off. Your comments on it won't fix anything or tell me anything new." Nick replied angrily. "I just lost a facility, one of my best operatives and the man with the most knowledge on the subject to a rogue alien I thought was dealt with. I have no idea how to handle this and thought I would never have to deal with him again." Harry dragged a hand through his hair.

"Was he dead?" He asked quietly. He could understand if the guy didn't die because he was obviously magical, so perhaps he had horcrux-

"No," Fury bit out, interrupting him. Well, that bit of information made Harry snorted in derision and Fury tensed further.

"If they're not dead or permanently handled they _always_ come back." Harry said, Fury sighed, not arguing because it was the truth, if a bitter one.

"Come, I need to introduce you to some of my agents and get the bolder rolling." Nick said grimly.

"Boulder?" The Brit said with an arched brow.

"The better to crush him with." Was the only response.

* * *

Harry leaned against the wall in the shadows calmly watching as Fury debriefed two of his agents. One was a fiery red head with interesting curves, but Harry had long since avoided her type after that rather nasty break up with Ginny five years prior. Ginny just hadn't understood that there was no way in bloody buggering hell he wasn't going to raise Teddy because she wanted to have fun and run around after graduating from school. Thinking of his adopted son Harry felt his molars grind in frustration. His little boy was safe and sound with his grandmother at their home in Cornwall, but he would be distinctly unhappy if he missed his little boy's first day at school, something that was a few, very short months away. The other agent, as he observed once he refocused, was an older man who looked like he was born into his suit. Fury finished off discussing the resurrection of this 'Avengers Initiative' and motioned Harry forward. The pair turned and Harry saw the well hidden worry masked behind their bland expressions. Apparently, the agent missing, and the source for many of the deaths at the facility they had just left, had been a close associate to both of them serving as the woman's partner, while the blond older man was the partner's handler. Fury came around the desk and stood next to Harry.

"Agents this is Unspeakable Commander Phoenix of the British Ministry of Magic. Also known as Sir Harry Potter, Lord of both the Ancient and Noble Houses of Potter and Black. He's here to supervise the removal of multiple terrorists and help us handle the Tesseract. Commander, these are my agents, Natasha Romanoff, and Phillip Coulson." Nick said, the man was still rather startled by the long list of information tacked to the shorter and younger man. Harry grasped both of the agents hands firmly in greeting.

"It's an honor to meet you Commander, but I'm rather confused." Agent Coulson said. "How is the British Ministry involved in any of this? Are the terrorists British natives?" Harry hid a smirk, it looked like they were avoiding the magic question.

"Yes, Agent Coulson, the British Ministry has a vested interest in these rouge villains, however we were not originally informed, as per international regulations dictates, which is why you're seeing me now. The fact of the matter is, I wouldn't have been called in if the UMSNA had done their jobs, but since they've proved themselves to be fruitless and remarkably idiotic, I'm now here to supervise clean up. It's remarkable that it took them year of repeated failures to finally throw in the towel and call in the people who actually had these terrorists running away with their pathetic tails between their legs. These rogues are actually the remnants of a terrorist group we demolished approximately five years ago. I'm certain you've both heard of the multiple gas explosions, and that bridge that collapsed in later part of '06 and early part of '07. Our people..." Harry straightened and ran a hand through his hair tiredly.

"Hushed it up. Can you explain why you're hear about the Tesseract though? It's on American soil, was found on an American ship, and is being handled by the American government." Agent Coulson asked, Romanoff seemed to silently be seething.

"The UMSNA, quite simply, fucked up with the Mjolnir and Thor incident. They know it, we know it, hell, the damn fucking islanders in Microasia know it. My government got contacted, and they sent their best, me, to clean up the mess and make sure none of the ordinaries got caught in the crossfire though the fact that the Muggle side got a hold of it and lost it... Let's just say there'll be all sort of hell in the international quarter, probably years of repercussions." Harry said curtly. Nick grimaced.

"Okay, I'm just going to ask, what the hell do you mean British Ministry of Magic? What do you mean by Muggle side?" Romanoff finally said. "I don't get what the hell you are! You're too young to be a commander!"

"Agent Romanoff!" Nick said sharply. Harry waved it away before pinning her with glacial cold green eyes. The red head bit back the need to squirm. Even Coulson and Fury felt a bit unsteady under that frosty gaze and an equally stiff, formal voice.

"No it's fine, quite frankly, there are more than just spies in the shadows Agent Romanoff, there's more than just the Mafia and other would be thugs. There is, unknown to you til now, a whole world hidden away. The magical world if you want a label. My little corner of it, and to be specific the British part of the Magical world, had a decades long internal war that culminated and finished five years ago primarily under my efforts. The remnants of those terrorists and fighters made it to the Mafia in your country, and are now trying to build up resources to cause problems. I was sent here because the United Magical States of North America, or UMSNA as I referred to it earlier, were fucking incompetent idiots and spent a whole year sending brand-spanking new agents out to stop them. Thus allowing for them to amass wealth, power, and ties. Britain's magical side has been in three wars in the past seventy or so years, and while we live much longer than you non-magical folk we don't want to be at war nonstop." He took a deep breath before continuing.

"The word Muggles is terminology for those who are without any magical powers like yourself. The fact that you got a powerful magical artifact instead of your magical side getting containing it and keeping it from leaking out is pissing off a lot of countries. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the bloody UMSNA had a rather unsavory coup before the next election. While your Muggle side has moved out of it's isolationist tendencies, the Magical society hasn't, and even have laws preventing such knowledge of the Wizarding world from slipping into your people's hands. I'm here to contain, and even make you _forget_ about it if I have to. I'm a commander because I ended the last war in Britain, by taking out the worst player, their leader, a wizard who named himself Lord Voldemort and took great pleasure in creating a genocide of those he considered, his own personal Holocaust if you will."

"I didn't hear anything about making us forget." Nick zoned in on that offhand statement.

"Oh none of the secret military, this is classified even higher than you in some places Fury. The mere fact we're interacting with the military side is sure to be frightening all sorts of simpering old morons." Harry fingered a scar tiredly. "My Minister, Kingsley Shacklebolt, is like me, an old war time vet and former Auror, or policeman-military official. My job as an Unspeakable is exactly that, unspoken, hidden and secret. I'm part of a department called rather correctly the Department of Mysteries. The only reason I'm well known is because I offed the worst Dark Lord the Brits have seen since your Second World War." Romanoff looked a little uneasy under the hard stare she was receiving from her boss, and Harry frankly didn't look like he give a damn about her either.

"My apologies Commander Potter," she said stiffly.

"Phoenix, my codename is, and will always be, Phoenix. It's not proper to use Potter in correlation to my rank in the ordinary world, so please call me Commander Phoenix, only Potter, or only commander." The woman nodded stiffly.

"Back to the Avengers Initiative," Nick said directing the conversation away from the rather deadly straights it was sailing into. "We're going to have to limit the amount of information that is available to the operatives, especially Stark and Banner."

"Who?" Harry asked. The man simply held out a hand and motioned them into a larger meeting room connected to his office. Striding to the front he picked up and pressed a series of buttons into a small remote. A series of holographic screens fazed into view and he motioned for them to take a seat. Harry sat close to the front next to the screen and narrowed his gaze as a rakish dark haired man's picture popped up. The man was standing rather smugly with his arm wrapped around a pretty willow red head.

"This is Anthony Edward 'Tony' Stark, considered a billionaire, genius, and philanthropist. His alter ego however," Nick clicked another button and up flashed a hologram of a metal man, bright red and gold with a glowing white circle in the center of his chest, floated in the center of the table. "Is Iron Man. Stark was kidnapped roughly two years ago and held hostage by a group of radical terrorists named Ten Rings in Afghanistan, he escaped by using a prototype of his current model as shown here, and has continued to update these 'supersuits' since then. These video clips demonstrate the full extent of our knowledge and what we believe he is capable of when wearing it." Harry observed with the others as a series of short clips flashed by demonstrating what the suit, or suits, were capable of or previously did.

"Okay," Harry said sitting forward, "and what about his personality? His openness to this Avengers Initiative, which I still haven't been a clue about?" Fury glared at him, Harry raised a brow, the man sighed.

"The Avengers Initiative is a plan to build a team of superheroes to defend the Earth from any dangers. They would include six members, one of whom you've already met. The others being, Mr. Stark, Banner, Steve Rodgers, Agent Barton, and Thor." Harry blinked at the last one.

"You were able to convince the Norse God of Thunder... To join this... Team?" Harry asked with an arched brow. "And isn't Barton the guy who's currently being controlled or something by Loki?"

"Barton is being considered for the position. He is considered the best marksman on the planet, and one of our finest operatives." Nick said brushing off the comment.

"Explain Thor again? I must have missed that little comment, because I only heard about Barton who's currently a danger to himself though mostly others." Fury shifted and glared again.

"Thor, God of Thunder, is currently in Asgard. However, before he left he promised an alliance with the human race here on Earth."

"So he agreed to joining this team of yours, all of them have?" Harry pressed, the other man didn't answer. Harry let out a long hiss of breath, this was going to be a long, irritating info session.

* * *

Natasha studied the short man, wizard, (and wasn't that a surprising little tidbit?) next to her. His black hair was inky in coloring, although there were a surprising amount of white and gray strips intermingled, as though he'd lived through horrors that reflected itself on his youthful countenance. Furthermore, the hair was long and pulled back in a tight french braid, which, she suspected, had a black silk cloth that was studded with sharp needles or spikes. Slightly shorter than her own five foot seven inches, he had visibly more scars than she thought possible for a twenty-two, nearly twenty-three year old to have. His sharp, and jaded green eyes shone under his black eyebrows and were surrounded by lashes she wouldn't mind stealing. His pale, English complexion, though marred by scars she was rather fascinated by, was an interesting contrast to both his black hair and emerald like eye color.

"Trying to read my mind Agent?" He asked with a hint of humor, breaking her study, as his gaze flickered over the different areas in the darkening market, always on the lookout. They were cutting through one of the smaller, poorer districts encircling Kolkata (Calcutta), India.

"Just observing the unusual Commander," she replied shifting uncomfortably. She wasn't happy about going after Banner without more back up than the skinny thing striding peacefully next to her. Her hands were already twitchy and more than once while still aboard the quinjet they had settled in a macarena type series of movements to check her weapons. The man beside her had merely pulled out a book, where she wasn't certain, and read it comfortably during the whole, incredibly long, twelve hour flight, not in the least bit worried or nervous, and he had been briefed. In fact, he'd read the entire fifty-eight paged report in full detail, twice, and hadn't twitched a bit, in fact, the man had seemed to soften some while reading it! Which rather bothered her because he had only grown more distant when she put on the charm. All in all, he irritated her and intrigued her, providing a needed diversion of her worry for Clint. Shutting out the thought of him dead or similar, she glared down at her considerably one inch taller height earning a bemused smirk and cold glance.

"Don't worry Agent," Harry told the skittish woman next to him. "Even though your Muggle medicine doesn't assist the good doctor, I have a few methods to insure that he doesn't 'Hulk' out as you call it."

"Is that so? Would you care to explain it to me?" She asked as they finally left the better part of the district and headed into the more prevalent slums. Harry merely glanced at her and shrugged earning a slight glare.

"It'll work," he simply said and she sighed minutely. They finally reached a rather haphazard looking shack at the very edge dozens of feet away from the nearest one and Harry, with proper English charm and decorum, knocked on the door. After a few minutes some shuffling sounds could be heard and the door creaked open.

"Hullo there," the Brit said with a friendly smile. The man stared at him.

"Can I help you?" Came the crisp tones of a learned intellectual, it was unfriendly and tinged with worry laced fear.

"Yes, I'm looking for a Dr. Banner," the man flinched.

"What do you want?" He snarled.

"I wish to speak with him concerning his work with gamma particles an-" the door slammed shut in Harry's face. He sighed. The woman next to him glared and moved to kick it open. "Doctor Banner," Harry called out loudly, before she could, "I might have a solution for your problem if you allow me a few more moments of your time I could tell you about it, I promise to leave if you reject my offer. However, I must request you let us in." A heavy silence descended and the door suddenly jerked open. A rather bedraggled dressed man stepped back ushering them in, though he glared slightly at the imposing and rather stonily faced Agent Romanoff, who despite Harry encouragement, came wearing the general SHIELD uniform.

Bruce studied the pair. While the woman screamed that she was on the defensive and more than a little worried about what the other guy was capable of, the man was not. If anything he seemed more than a little casual about the whole thing, which put Bruce on edge. The man offered a hand and, with great reluctance, Bruce took it and was immediately surprised. Feeling every muscle in his body suddenly relax the man felt a jolt of surprise and fear surge through him.

"Calm," the Brit said. "My name is Sir Harry Potter, Unspeakable Commander in the British Ministry of Magic and I am here to discuss with you something of great danger and importance to your home country."

"Ministry of Magic?" Bruce said startled.

"Lets take a seat," Harry said releasing the other man's hand. Bruce nodded rather dumbly and they sat a the small wooden table. The man met Bruce's eyes squarely, and then said, "Tell me, Dr. Banner, do you believe in magic?"

"Not particularly, though that handshake of yours...that was pretty magical. All the tension in my body..." Bruce said nervously.

"Peace," Harry said firmly, and Bruce felt himself relax again. "I am going to be blunt, and straight forward with you Dr. Banner, I hope you put aside your scientific logic, and accept some Holmes logic instead." Drawing out a slim stick Harry pointed it at the table in the middle of them and with a few waves from it changed the worn and battered table into a pig.

Bruce gaped and sputtered at it, while Natasha wasn't that far off from doing the same either, though she quickly marshaled her features. A few more swishes and the pig was back to a table, and even in better repair than before its transformation. The stick was slid back under the man's loose, almost translucent white shirt sleeve, disappearing. Bruce stared at it and the sleeve. Harry tapped his fingers and the other man's eyes jerked up to meet slightly amused green ones.

"Now, Dr. Banner, I will you ask you again. Do you believe in magic?" Harry asked once more. The nuclear scientist just nodded. Natasha, staring at the table and tentatively touching it, had to stop herself from doing the same as well.

"Good then, this make the next several minutes easier." Harry rubbed his right hand nervously with his left, fingering his old 'I will not tell lies' scar. "In your home country," he began, "there are two governments, one, concerns themselves with people of your nature, non-magicals. The second deals with people like me, magicals. It is the second group that is charge of all magical creatures, objects, and peoples. However, within the past few years things have... slipped through the cracks." A look of extreme distase crossed the young man's features and both of his companions leaned slightly forward. Natasha heard a similar spiel earlier, but his displeasure hadn't been shown as harshly until now. Bruce was simply fascinated by the idea and wondered how exactly they functioned while maintaining their secrecy. Harry pinched the bridge of his tiredly with obvious annoyance then glanced up once more with a slight smirk.

"To be honest, that magical government been letting that happen since the Second World War. It has come to the global attention that recently several great and powerful artifacts have visited your homeland. The first was an powerful hammer belonging to Thor himself, no doubt you've read or are familiar with such Norse mythology, which crashed somewhere in your so called Midwest. Upon it's retrieval of it's owner it was intercepted by a number of non-magicals and a foe from the owner's home world, thus having two exceedingly rare things happen in a span of approximately three days. The third item, also belonging to that pantheon, was a powerful cube called the Tesseract, left here on earth hundreds of years prior. This is where you come in Dr. Banner. Until a day or so ago the cube was in the hands a non-magical national security group for your government called SHIELD," Bruce stiffened and opened his mouth but Harry raised a hand forestalling it.

"I understand they are not in good standing with you, but please bear with me for a few more minutes." Bruce nodded stiffly and Harry gave him a tight lipped smile in thanks. "I was put in contact with SHIELD because the magical side of your country were incompetent fools who, as I've told you earlier, have been letting things slide without caring how it reflects on the global magical community. Thus endangering the whole international magical world. I was sent by my government to supervise all actions with the cube as one of my primary duties while here, but on the second day after I arrived it was stolen by a power extraterrestrial that caused problems which lead to the first mentioned artifact to come to Earth one year ago. It has gotten to the point where it is extremely important that we retrieve this item, since it's power can be used for a fast number of things, the least of all a bridge to other worlds." Harry took a deep breathe and looked quite unwilling as he continued.

"I have come to understand that you suffer from an unfortunate transformation, as a person in my standing, I am not unfamiliar with it. In my world, the magical world, we have a number of people who suffer under lycanthropy. Much like you, these people are forced into a difficult situation frequently and suffer under persecution. My own son suffers from these persecution since his biological father was a victim of this disease. However, I am here to offer you help and request some." Harry met the other man's eyes squarely, "I am here to ask you to help find the Tesseract. Apparently, the cube emits a small dosage of gamma radiation, which is traceable. I ask this of you reluctantly," the agent with him made a noise and Harry glared at her. "I didn't want to force someone who didn't want anything to do with the same people who condemned him, but there isn't anyone else qualified enough or intelligent enough to find the blasted thing. Even my attempts to find the artifact magical have proved fruitless and if there is any hope of removing it from that dangerous individual, we are forced to ask, and _not_ order him, for help. I may be a military commander and someone who would prefer to have him help us for the greater good, but I'll be damned if I drag anyone unwilling into this."

"You said there may be a way to help me?" Bruce interjected quietly. Harry nodded sharply turning away from the woman.

"I believe that while Muggle, pardon me, non-magical medicines are unable to calm your unfortunate transformation, there may be chance that there are magical ones. I promise you however, even if you chose to reject this offer, I will still offer you sanctuary as Lord Harry Potter. Since I have plenty of political clout, and extensive grounds where you can live in peace, there would be hope for you even if there wasn't a magical cure currently available. Thus allowing you to live in secrecy and be untraceable or others without the ability to contact you if are so inclined." Harry said firmly. Bruce took a deep, shaky breath. The offer was tempting. The fact that he might get help, either way, made him want to give back. The young man's eyes were sharp, and while he was worried about what SHIELD might be planning, the offer was too good to pass up. Plus, he was still an American. He couldn't leave his country in danger if he could help. Bruce was also tired of running, of being alone. Staring into the hard green eyes, that held no condemnation, and surprisingly, understanding, Bruce felt something he hadn't in a long, long time. Hope. Something that had been unattainable these past six years.

"I'll do it," Bruce said with a nod. Harry smiled. The woman looked rather shocked. "That is, I'll do it if you also remove the spies. I would prefer not to be stalked any longer." He added on and Harry barked out a brief laugh.

"I'll see if I can't convince Fury that needing to know what underwear the person prefers isn't necessary information." Harry said standing. "Do you need help packing?"

"Yeah, it'll take a few hours, although there's little too pack, and most of it's already done..." Harry smiled and pulled out his wand.

"Then this shouldn't take more than a moment." A quick flurry flick and a few murmured words, too low for his companions to hear, and Bruce's luggage sailed out and quickly packed themselves. Twenty minutes later Bruce was seated in a small jet probing the slender wizard with questions on how his magic worked, what the full purpose of his wand served, while marveling over how he compressed all of the luggage, minimal as it were, into a small pouch, and if he could keep the pouch to study. The last question, a resounding no, didn't bother him in the least, at least not a lot. Besides he quickly got over it, when he was handed a book on Runes to study and a placid, "I find these flights quite boring since I am not the one directing the flight, perhaps that'll keep your interest?" Which led to a wholly different discussion over how exactly he flew. Completely fascinating, and now at hand most of the time.

* * *

They were probably flying over Italy when Bruce fell into a light doze and Harry studied him silently over the potions manual. The man was about ten centimeters taller than Harry's own 162 centimeters, and looked worn, his clothing battered much like his godfather's had been when they had first met. His expression was just as battered as Remus'. It was a combination that played on his heart, and made him gentler than he was with most people these days and prompted him to make his offer after reading his file. Learning the poor man's back story didn't make it any easier either. Hell, none of the supposed team members backgrounds made Harry feel anything less than familiarity. Betrayed by people you considered your closest relative, an orphan who fought bravely, a man lonely and abandoned, expectations and wealth your foe no matter how much of a brave face, a man possessed by a great evil. Hell, he even connected with Romanoff, a person driven by her sense of duty and aching and worrying over her partner lost. He even felt bad for Loki, adopted and loved, but the truth thrust away, kept as a dirty secret, when it defined your very being. A_ magical _being no less. He couldn't help but draw correlations from all of them, bizarre as it may seem. Setting the book aside he rubbed his forehead tiredly, wishing he was back in Britain waking up to the smiling face of his boy, or laughing with Andy over tea, even listening to Hermione rant about reforms that hadn't gone through. Hell, he wouldn't mind hearing Ron grumble over the Cannon's most recent loss, as annoying as that had gotten over the years.

"You look tired," a sleep heavy voice said, breaking through his morose thoughts. He glanced up and met the dark brown eyes of the tired man sitting across from him.

"I guess I am," Harry replied scrubbing at his neck. "All this heavy Muggle machinery... It's wearying, plus I've been flying nonstop for the past two days it seems."

"It's more than that..." Bruce said studying the much younger man across from him. The delicate strength that seemed to seem to extrude from the darker haired man was missing, leaving a shell achingly young behind. Harry stared at the kind expression in the other man's eyes and demeanor before smiling wistfully.

"Dr. Banner," Harry said with that soft smile. "It's nothing to worry about. I am a person with many responsibilities, and a parent who simply misses their child and home. The fact that we have a rogue off with a powerful artifact and no knowledge of what he's doing with it does not help the matter or the lack of sleep." The older man nodded, still studying Harry closely.

"Are you sure that's all...? You're not sick or something...?" Bruce asked and the man's gaze firmed and half wry expression crossed the now older facial features of the man seated across from him.

"I'm just apprehensive. To recover the item, we also require a team, one that I am certain to be dysfunctional and highly combative. It's going to be a group of strong people, many of which have difficult and different backgrounds, and no experience with each other or working with four to five other individuals. It is my worry that even if we find the object, we will not be able to actually retrieve it." Harry said. Bruce nodded skeptically, though it sounded plausible. He had a feeling, however, that it wasn't only that bothering the young man who carried responsibility as easily as Hulk could throw a arr. Seeing the slightly haunted he dropped it and his mind ran around trying to something else, grasping at what little he knew about the man to distract him.

"So..." Bruce said trying to think of something, "you have a kid?" He winced internally after settling on the only thing he could think of, wanting to smack himself. Of course, Bruce thought bitterly, bring up the man's son that in another country whom he won't be seeing anytime soon, that's the way to make him feel better. Seeing the other man smile again, this time a lonely one made Bruce wanted to smack himself harder. Idiot, was all he could think.

"Yeah," Harry said as he started rummaging through his pockets to find his wallet. "He's fucking A-list adorable." Finally finding the rather battered, brown leather compressed folder he pulled it out flipped it open, and dug out a rather grimy picture. "See! Cutest bloody thing in Britain in my opinion." Harry offered the picture and Bruce took it carefully. It was a picture of the man in front of him sitting next to a much older woman with a small boy nestled in his lap. The trio were laughing, and smiling up at him, waving energetically.

"Amazing the picture moves!" He breathed and Harry laughed making him flush in embarrassment.

"Yeah, wizards have a potion that you can soak developing pictures in that allows for that." Harry said. "Took that about a year ago just after he turned four. He's five now. Gonna be going to school this year." The last of that sounded like a mixture between pride, sadness, and worry making Bruce smile. The little boy in the picture had an oval-like shaped face that squared out around the chin and round cheek bones. His almond shaped eyes were light colored and his hair looked like a mixture between mussed and short, sticking up and lying flat in different places. The sheer bliss on the boy's face was something to envy, and he looked carefree in the arms of two adults who probably loved him unconditionally. Bruce handed back the picture feeling a mixture of admiration, humor, and bitterness.

"He is pretty cute." Bruce admitted and Harry's smile grew even wider. Patting himself on the back mentally, Bruce thought maybe he hadn't screwed up as badly as he believed he first did.

"Best damn thing, having that kid is, best damn thing." Harry murmured. "All I got left of his father, of my family." His fingers stroked the picture, tracing his son's face, before he slid it back into his wallet and put the thing away.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Bruce said sincerely. He understood what it was like to be without anyone.

"Don't be, it isn't your fault. They died fighting for what they believed in. Fighting against a madman who would have made any other mass murderer look like a simple shoplifter. I won't say it doesn't suck sometimes knowing my kid and I won't ever get to know our parents, but it was for the greater good, and somethings you just gotta suck up after the battles won." Harry replied.

"Oh, I guess so," Bruce said uncertainly. The wizard's outlook was much more severe and practical, even pragmatic and cynical, than his own. He shifted uncomfortably, because while he was older he felt like he was the one who needed advice from this worldlier man. He considered it strange, that a man approximately two decades younger, could make such an impact on him. "Uhm... Could you tell me a some about the solutions that you might have for me?" Bruce said, vainly trying to rally. Harry sobered and nodded.

"In the Wizarding world we have a specialized branch of magical called potions. These potions use a number of different ingredients to aid the brewer or drinker of the concoction. I believe through trial and error of a number of Calming droughts we may find away something you can take whenever you begin to feel overly stressed. There's also a number of mind magics that allow for better research of the mind and it's organization." Harry said, almost in a teaching manner. Bruce nodded, intrigued.

"How would you research my mind with magic? Is there a spell that can record or observe my emotions as they fluctuate?" He asked and Harry paused before nodding.

"I believe so, however, I was thinking of a more... I hate to say it, but direct and invasive approach. On the tree of mind magics there's a branch called Legilimency that has a spell that allows the caster inside the mind of the person it is cast on. It allows the spell caster to see the memories, emotions, and even experience what the person felt or how they reacted, as well as anything the person is repressing or hiding, be it unknown to them or not. In response to that, there is another branch of mind magic that protects against it, that I think you might find resourceful. It is called Occlumency. It allows you to compartmentalize and protect your mind from unwanted intrusions. I believe through a study of your mind with Legilimency we could find a source for your change and if it possible, teach you to be a successful Occlumens who is able to connect with your other side more easily in either communication or, in a more desperate approach, locking that side away. I make no promises however. I've only a file that is... Exceedingly biased, to base my thoughts on. Plus I am only a recent master in this field and it may take a few years of research and teachings to be viable option for you. However, if the potions could buy us time and these branches options did work..."

"Then the magical field would help me control myself better and be less of a danger to others. Do you really think it could help?" Bruce said amazed and Harry gave a short, serious nod.

"I see no reason why it should not. I have known a number of people with difficulties containing themselves, whether it be through a hereditary problem of having difficulty controlling their anger, or the advancement of organizing their mind to control the amount of information being processed, allowing for greater multitasking. I think if we can figure out the source of why you have the Hulk, because I don't think it's only from the gamma rays, then perhaps we can reason with it or learn how exactly you have him." Harry told him with a small smile. Bruce blinked and felt a well of tears come up had nothing to do with despair. Closing his eyes he nodded once.

"Commander Phoenix, Dr. Banner," Natasha's voice rang out over the intercom, "we'll be arriving at the Helicarrier in twenty minutes, please strap yourselves in and prepare to land then disembark." Harry blinked at Bruce, who noted the confusion equaling his own on the other man's face.

"Helicarrier?"

* * *

A/N: 

Okay, this was a frackin' rough chapter to write. The ending *repeated actions of trying to claw my eyeballs out* was hella difficult, urgh, but worth it. I hope you enjoyed it. I'm getting kinda angsty and I'm starting to wonder if I should change the genre title. Oh well. We'll figure it out. I hope you agree with the drawn similarities between the Avengers and Harry. I love the melodrama, let me know what you think. Also, following this is the time line and a website to take you to the movie time line in case you're interested, just remember to remove the spaces in between.

**HARRY P. X AVENGERS TIME LINE: **

**(~ for approximates) (a lot of this is based of this time line, I just had to fix some of the years because it didn't seem to end up at 2012 for my time line, .us /u /prod /marvel /i /mg / 5/ 40/ 4fbaad4f8d5ea. Jpg - just remove spaces like always) **

~1012 CE- Odin fights and defeats the invading Jotenheim

~400 CE- Odin leaves (looses?) the Tesseract in Norway

1942 CE- Tesseract found and stolen by Johann Schmidt/ Steve Rodgers becomes Captain America

1945 CE- Captain America defeats Johann Schmidt and crashes his plane into Antarctica to prevent bombs from reaching their destination

1964 CE- Howard Stark works with Anton Vanko to develop the Arc Generator

1976 CE- Stark Industries reveals first Arc Generator

2006 CE (originally 2004 in the movies I guess based on the time line online)- Robert Bruce Banner is an unwitting pawn in a military scheme to make more super soldiers (like Steve Rodgers) and after being hit by Gamma radiation is now able to turn into the Hulk.

2010 CE- Anthony Edwards 'Tony' Stark is kidnapped by Ten Rings

-Later that year he battles the Iron Monger

- Stark informed about Avengers Initiative

2010-2011 CE- Stark confronts Hammer Industries and Ross for a botched prototype

2011 CE- Banner Hulk's out/ Stark defeats Ivan Vanko with his Mark V the 'suitcase suit'

- SHIELD is monitoring Banner, Stark and Jane Foster

- Stark fights Col. Rhodes and lets him escape with a suit

- Thor's coronation (is interrupted by attack) leads to invasion of Jotenheim/ Stark watches reels left by his father

- Stark discovers hidden element/ Odin saves Thor then banishes him to earth/ Banner goes to Culver U/ Coulson goes to Roswell from Malibu

- Banner visits old lab/ SHIELD discovers Mjolnir, Foster finds and 'saves' Thor

- Banner reunites with Betty/ Blonsky becomes super soldier/ Thor raids SHIELD fails to get Mjolnir

- Thor fights Destroyer, pledges allegiance to people of Earth, Thor and Loki fight thus destroying Bifrost/ Banner Hulks out/ Fury meets with Stark and offers him a role as a SHIELD consultant

- SHIELD announces they'll be watching out for extraterrestrials & collects the Destroyer

-Banner & Betty meet Sterns

-Banner Hulks out to defeat Abomination (Blonsky), Blonsky(Abomination) is taken by General Ross/ SHIELD cleans up Harlem

Late 2011-Early 2012 (before Harry pretty much, maybe I should just call it B.H)- Tesseract and Captain America found/ Banner goes into hiding/ Stark builds Tower/ Testing on Tesseract starts/ Sitwell and Coulson call in Stark to prevent Blonsky from being part of the Avengers

June 2012- Harry Potter gets sent to the USA/UMSNA to defeat DeatheaterxMafia and oversee the Tesseract


	3. Chapter 3: Magic and Technology

A/N:

Fixed Chapter 1 some, though after I finish this story I might go through the whole thing and tweak it. I feel kinda weird that I have the chapter for _after_ the huge gigantic alien versus earth battle already written but don't even have Harry meeting all of the characters yet. Heck, I had it written even before getting too far along in this chapter! Weird right?

Also! A reminder, this story is AU, because there's Harry. My apologies if this offends anybody. I try to work in the major scenes, but I play with them since we have more... Factors. It's not that the movie wasn't amazing, it's just I wanted to write this crossover because there were so many amazing fanfictions using these two genres.

**For the Reviewers: I love most of you. To those I do. HUGGGG! To those I don't, well, you can guess who you are. **

**Flip Milner:** No, I have nothing against redheads, but I kinda operate under the agreement that it's weird that Harry married someone who looked like his mother. Plus I'm keeping him single, til the later chapters. He's a single dad, with a wicked sense of humor and kick ass attitude. Plus a heart of gold.

**To two Guests I'm rather insulted by:**

I won't go into the rant I originally had, the people who actually want to read this don't deserve to see such anger, so I'm simply going to respond like the rational person I pride myself on being most of the time.

1)Harry's personality: In most of my stories, if not all, Harry's personality is different than what JK Rowling portrayed him as. The reason to this is simple, this isn't the next installment in JK Rowling's Harry Potter. This is me borrowing a much beloved character and shaping a new world for him. Some times his past is the same all but before the epilogue in volume seven. Other times I change it up before he even starts school. It's nothing against JK Rowling, I'm just putting my own, FREE spin on things.

2)Harry's height: I will openly say I haven't read or seen Harry's movies in a while. That doesn't mean I'm not a fan or researching his character, or any of the other characters in my stories. It just means that to those of you who can quote the book by opening it or actually remembering it, that there will be at times slight differences. Personally, I based Harry's height on my own opinion that he's average height because of his childhood, how tall the actor playing Harry in his movies were, and the fact he's a seeker and what I personally consider a seeker's body to be. Slightly smaller than normal. In other words, slim, maybe average height, which is about 5'6" to 5'8" I believe for men in Britain, and muscular. If you looked up the heights for all of the other characters, either based on their actors or the comics you'll find all of them, except for Pepper, are taller than Harry is. The reason I was so specific that it's 5'6" is because I read that Daniel Radcliffe is 5'6".

3)Harry's Prematurely What?: I was startled by your comment of Harry prematurely aging. I never said anywhere that he was. I said his hair was colored by all the things he's seen. He's an Unspeakable, and it is known that people's hair may have premature coloring if they live under excessive amounts of stress. I chose to show this, because I plan on numerous things revolving around Harry's chosen career later on. Sorry if it sounded like he was looking older, he's not. He's just got different hair and several interesting scars.

4)Loki's SHIELD File: This is an artistic liberty. As an author I have a penchant of Harry being strong willed and sympathizing. As a fan of fanfiction authors of Harry Potter, I find I prefer Harry to have the same high emotions, but a much more cunning and politically intelligent attitude. The main purpose to this 'Loki File' is to help Harry learn about what SHIELD thinks about Loki, while forming his own opinions. If you remember that whole section was build up for the Bruce-Harry Bonding moment. I plan on Harry having multiple moments like that for purposes _I cannot tell you of yet_. The fact of the matter is, I am the author, and I'm not the perfect human either. If JK Rowling was perfect, and if all of Stan Lee's author's were perfect we wouldn't have slight inconsistencies we as readers notice. I just ask of you that you give me the same respect and allowances as they receive. Thank you.

I hope this clarified it up for you, and next time if you do have an account, I would like you to use it so I can explain it to you via PM in case you have more questions.

**To my other reviewers:** Thank you, your kind words always spur me on and motivate me. The reactions I got from many of you is what allowed so many chapters of this story to be written so quickly. I don't know if I had so many because of the story, the question I posed at the end of the first chapter, or if it's because of the crossover I've chosen, however I consider myself blessed and thank you once more for it. Please continue to read and follow me along my wild ride, I can only say I look forward to many more chapters with you and the characters.

Dedications: To all the readers who commented constructively, especially you Ivy Raven, thanks and I hope you all help me become even better.

Disclaimer: As much as I love a man in tights and who's a badass, sadly I don't have or own one. This property isn't mine, but I do love visiting and playing with it. Thanks to JK Rowling and Stan Lee for having such amazing characters to work with.

* * *

_**Pear Shaped**_

_Definition: something that's gone wrong, become a disaster _

Chapter 3: Magic and Technology Don't Work Together

Harry was fairly certain that the thing, whatever the hell it was, that they had landed on was ridiculously large, expensive, and technological. All things he could handle in small, separate doses. In one swallow however? Not particularly easy or enjoyable. He particularly hated being stuck in anything, anywhere. Probably a psychological thing from when he was forced to sleep under the stairs as a little boy and being held hostage a few times as a teenager and an Unspeakable. Staring at the behemoth Harry fought the urge to transform into his Animagus shape and _get the bloody hell off_.

"I don't think I'm going to enjoy being on this," he groused next to Bruce who glanced at him surprise.

"Why is that?" Bruce asked as they got out of the jet.

"Magic and Muggle technology... They aren't particularly compatible. Magic isn't straightforward, I'll admit it. But it deals with the natural, and only the natural. Unlike technology. While you can have a sandwich be charmed from one place to another, you can't just create a brand new food fixing." Harry said.

"Conservation of mass and energy," Bruce murmured and Harry nodded looking slightly relieved. "You weren't that bothered on the jet." He commented, and Harry shifted uneasily.

"Bruce we were on that plane for six hours together, and I've been up for about eighteen hours _non-stop, _the only reason I didn't sleep on it is because my magic is jittery as someone connected to a live wire. The sheer amount of technology is... Difficult to be around. While ordinary wizards are capable of handling basic things like phones and toasters... I have a have a good reason to avoid it."

"Why avoid it?" Bruce asked curiously.

"The first time I used a mobile phone it exploded in my hand." Harry said flatly.

"Wow," he said, his eyebrow shooting up, "why did it do that?"

"One of my closest friends, a Muggleborn, a witch born to Muggles, researched it. Apparently my magic doesn't like, what are they called, motherboards? It objects to me using it and keeps me on edge when I'm around it."

"So anything with a motherboard explodes around you?" Bruce asked wide eyed.

"No, only if I'm actively using it. My magic... I guess the best way you can say it, acts like the technology is a foreign intruder and forcefully removes and destroys it. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get on the jet. I can use Muggle machinery that, hopefully, isn't too advanced, but ask me to use a computer..."

"Will you be alright aboard the ship?" Bruce said growing worried for the nice younger man.

"Hopefully, I might have to request a room with little to no man-made substances. I can handle metal and some fibers, but if they place me with a lot of plastic, some of it might start melting." Harry admitted.

"So this only happens to you?" Bruce asked, a mixture of fascination and horror.

"It's a bit more common for exceedingly powerful wizards and witches. Like I said normal wizards and witches are able to use them. That is, unless they're in a magically saturated area like a school of magic or marketplace. It's believed that such areas suck out the power in them from its source in those items to add to the ambient magic already imbedded in the ground or buildings. It's really confusing." Harry said eying his surroundings nervously. A large jet boomed overhead and Harry whipped out his wand and pointed at it. "Fuck," he muttered putting away. "This is going to be a bloody nightmare." Bruce glanced at him sympathetically.

"I guess I won't be seeing you in the labs that much huh?" Bruce coomented.

"Not if you don't want everything to work," Harry responded miserably. "I would love to help if I could Dr. Banner-"  
"Oh just call me Bruce."

"If you'll call me Harry." The wizard said with a less fretful smile.

"That's fine." Bruce returned it was a less tense one.

"As I was saying, I'd loved to be of help but the second I did... The computer would short circuit and explode. I made the mistake once, just once mind you, of turning on the computer for my friend and she has never let me in the computer room since. Apparently I fried not only the computer, but the fax, printer, copier and external hard drives. She didn't talk to me for _months_." Harry grumbled. Bruce hid a smile and muffled the chuckle bubbling in his chest. Harry shot him a dirty looking, correctly guessing his reaction making the other man smile. Harry merely huffed. Agent Romanoff finally left the small jet, the pilot following not far behind. She glanced at them before looking around. Immediately, she caught sight of Coulson standing in front of a tall blond man with his back to her, an Army grade duffel bag tossed over one shoulder. The dark jacket stretched over a rather impressive physique covering a pair of neat khakis that ran over long legs ending in leather loafers. She strode over, curiosity piqued. Harry and Bruce, with nothing better to do, followed.

"Coulson!" She called and he glanced over briefly before returning to the man he was talking to animatedly. Her eyebrow shot up in surprise. The man paused briefly and glanced over and she felt surprise bubble in her stomach at that familiar face and profile. Standing in front of her, and his devoted fan, was Captain America, Steven Rodgers. Stopping next to them she asked wryly, "Getting your trading cards signed Coulson?" The man in question flushed while his hero arched an eyebrow in question.

"Cards?" He asked, a heavy Brooklyn accent leaving an obvious make on his voice. Luckily, Phil thought, he was saved by the two new arrivals.

"Hello again Agent Coulson," Harry said as he and Bruce stopped across from the trio.

"Commander," Phil said with a friendly smile. "It's good to see that there was no problems in contacting Dr. Banner."

"Of course," Harry said with a slight smile. He turned to the blond man, biting down the envy that arose from his considerably taller height, and offered a hand. "Sir Harry Potter, Unspeakable Commander of the British Ministry of Magic. When I'm in the field I go by Commander Phoenix. It's nice to meet you."

"Steve Rodgers, Captain in the US Army, and Captain America, nice to meet you Commander," Steve said taking his hand. "You said British Ministry of _Magic_?" Harry waved his free hand.

"A discussion for a later time I assure you." Harry said with a smile and let go stepping back slightly.

"Good enough I guess," Steve said, curiosity spiked. He mentally shrugged it off before turning to the other man.

"Robert Bruce Banner, nuclear physicist," Bruce said shaking the man's hand. "Its an honor Captain."

"Thanks, I guess," Steve said, his apprehension towards the man hidden behind a friendly man. He looks fairly harmless, Steve thought, and walking up with that British Commander, who showed now sign of worry and was clearly briefed, made him relax and withhold even further judgment til a later time. "What exactly does a nuclear physicist do?"

"Search for missing artifacts Captain," a deep voice interrupted. The quintet turned and met the approaching dark figure that was Nick Fury. "I'm glad to see that you agreed to come Dr. Banner."

"Fury," Bruce said, feeling his guard go up. Harry reached out and touched his arm, instantly relaxing he shot the shorter man a thankful look. Harry merely nodded in response.

"Let's head inside," Natasha said. "It's going to get rather hard to breathe." Suddenly the giant thing they were on shuddered. Harry's hand tightened and felt his magic spike in alarm.

"Bloody hell," he muttered trying to calm himself. Bruce glanced at him equally worried.

"Is this a submarine?" Steve asked glancing around uneasily.

"Really, They wanted me in a submerged pressurized steel container?" Bruce couldn't resist saying sarcastically. Harry looked at him in alarm.

"My magic..." Bruce glanced at him equally alarmed. Suddenly it surged up. Harry moved over to the edge, Bruce and Steve following right behind. Immediately he felt a bit better. He could handle being in the air if there were exits to the outside.

"Oh God, it's actually worse," he heard Bruce mutter.

"Don't worry too much Bruce, we'll get started as soon as possible. Just let me check my books." Harry told him comfortingly as they were lead inside by the agents." Harry wondered if he'd have any time to fly and if he'd get shot at while doing so.

* * *

"What exactly have you done so far on tracking the cube?" Bruce asked after Fury greeted him.

"We currently are searching every video making system available." Coulson replied.

"It won't be enough," Natasha muttered.

"You have to narrow the field. How many spectrometers do you have access to?" Bruce asked. Harry stood silently next to him, listening to the by play.

"How many are there?" Fury said, eyes already going to Coulson who nodded in understanding. All and any that weren't under their power would be within the hour.

"Call every lab you know, tell them to put the spectrometers on the roof and calibrate them for gamma rays. I'll rough out a tracking algorithm based on cluster recognition. At least we could rule out a few places. Do you have somewhere for me to work?" Bruce asked.

"Agent Romanoff will you show him to the labs. I'd like to see him get started on tracing the cube."

"Yes sir," Romanoff said. "You're gonna love it, Doc. We got all the toys." Bruce glanced at Harry who gave him a smile.

"We'll talk later Bruce, and see if there's anyway I can help with our side project." Harry said and Bruce nodded back in understanding. The pair left, and Fury dismissed Coulson with a reminder to check in on Stark's progress. The blond walked away with only one wistful look back making Harry bite back a laugh.

"You've got a fan there, Captain," Harry said after Coulson was out of earshot.

"You think?" Steve asked glancing down. Harry smirked up at him.

"Please, if he wasn't on duty he'd probably be asking for your autograph." Harry replied. Fury cleared his throat and the pair glanced back at him.

"Gentlemen if you would follow me, I would like to discuss the Tesseract with both of you." Fury said motioning in after him. "I also want to get you some mobile phones so I can get in touch with you."

"Mobile phones?" They asked, though Steve was of confusion and Harry's was of horror."

"Is there a problem?" Fury asked looking at Harry who glanced at him miserably.

"Only if you don't mind minor fires popping up from handing me those things." Harry told Fury. He glanced at Steve before explaining, "And mobile are phones you can take with you, they aren't connect to land lines, Steve, they can send signals across great distances. Think of a more advanced radio. You can call someone and they send the conversation through radio signals or something." Harry replied.

"So it's like personal radios that have multiple channels?" Steve asked curious.

"I guess so? You just punch in the number like you do on regular phones and it connects. You can use them to call landlines and other mobile phones. They have multiple functions now. I'm sure someone will explain and demonstrate them for you." Harry replied.

"Could you show me?" Steve asked starting to get comfortable around the Brit.

"Oh no, I'm sorry that's impossible, I know about them and some generalities but I've never worked one. Phones and that sort of technology explode, literally, when I use them. I'm sure Bruce could walk you through a few things, or an agent." Harry replied honestly. Fury cleared his throat and the pair turned back to him.

"We'll figure something else out for you Commander," Fury said wryly. "Unless you have a suggestion?" Harry paused and look on consternation crossed his face.

"Well... I could spell some mirrors or do a charm on a pair of leather bound books." Harry said thinking over the charms and ruins needed for such magic.

"Mirrors? Books?" Nick said a brow going up in curiosity.

"Reflective surfaces have been around for thousands of years. It used to be that you spelled a flat part of your sword or a piece of metal ware and used that to communicate at times of war. Of course there's old stories about magical mirrors, those of which have special enchantments. In fact, it's possible to buy ones that critique your outfit and hair." A note of extreme distaste in his voice. "Those are particularly annoying." He muttered under his breath.

"The books?" Steve goaded interested.

"A charm that allows whatever is written in one to show up on another and vice versa. If the book has a charm that gives it unlimited amount of pages then it'll act as an unlimited conduit for communication. It would be charmed or enchanted to glow or make some sort of notification of when something new was written in it's pair." Harry replied.

"Interesting," Fury said with a slight smile, "is this how magicians generally communicate with each other?"

"Actually no, there's fire calls and owls. We generally send letters, though there is something called Howlers which are particularly unpleasant. Consider you got in trouble at boarding school, however there are no phones, instead your mother writes an exceedingly angry letter to you and then enchants it to yell out it's message to you in front of all your peers." Steve flinched in sympathy while Fury actually looked rather interested in it.

"How long would it take you to enchant such mirrors or books? And could you do it with more than one?" He asked. Harry paused to think it over.

"Probably, but it'd take about a week for a simple enchantment. You'd have to get identical mirrors, cast a series of spells on it to make it unbreakable, attune it via runes and then soak them in a potion to make sure the enchantments became fixed. The books would be about the same though with slightly different spells." Harry said honestly.

"Hmm," Fury said thinking. Then a beeping caught his attention and he snapped out of it. "We will discuss this further later. As you know the Tesseract is a powerful energy source."

"Yes, it was used in numerous weapons by the Germans in the war," Steve said suddenly grim.

"Weapons," Harry said his guard going up and his military face coming down. "What weapons are these and are this still functional? Who and how were the created? It is to my knowledge that the magical community had a side in that war, but what is this about Muggles have weapons powered by a highly rare and magical alien source? Why wasn't I informed of this earlier Fury?"

"Wizards had a hand in the Second World War?" Fury asked intensely.

"Genocide isn't only a Muggle specialty," Harry hissed. "Don't try to get around this, explain yourself. Why haven't I or any other magical official heard about this? If you and your government are holding out-"

"My apologies Commander Phoenix, but it was to our understanding you already knew." Fury cut in. Harry's eyes narrowed further.

"I beg your pardon?" He snarled. "Who told you that? Was it Greynolds?"

"It was not the Secretary of Defense, it was, I believe, a letter from the president." Fury edged. Harry face paled then slowly flushed, a tick developed in his left eye and a subtle grinding noise could be heard.

"I will discuss this with the Minister and the Defensive Secretary when I next have a chance." Harry bit out. "Now, about the weapons-"

"They are all gone Commander," Fury said. Harry narrowed his eyes. Was that a note of disappointment in the other man's voice.

"Which is a good thing in your opinion correct?" Harry asked, his position shifting subtly, his persona growing.

"Of course," Fury said calmly. "Such weaponry is dangerous to those who have no business handling it." Harry stared at him not buying it at the moment. The way that statement was worded...

"What do you want with the cube, sir? If I may be so bold as to ask?" Steve interjected.

"Yes, what _do _**you** want with it?" Harry's message clearly implied those behind Fury's little group and his government.

"We see it as a new, clean energy source and seek a way to harness it." Fury replied clearly. Harry stared at him. Something was fishy, and he didn't like it. He'd have to look into it some more. Harry glanced at Steve who seemed to accept the answer for now. Harry blinked at the man but said no more.

"Now that we've discussed the Tesseract, I'm sure you would like to get settled. Is there anything you need?" Fury said as an agent appeared out of nowhere.

"I'm fine with anything sir." Steve said calmly.

"I would like a place near Dr. Banner if possible, and a room with as little technology and synthetic plastic in it. Such objects... Have a habit of catching fire around me if I'm near them for too long a period. I would prefer not to wake up and find the ceiling lamp melting down on top of me." Harry said firmly. "Also if you could keep me away from most people..."

"I actually too would like to be away from people." Steve suddenly seeing the attraction of being away from the multitudes. Many of whom would want stories or his time, neither of which he would like to give.

"The Avengers already have a specific are cordoned off for them. There's already a room set aside there for both of you. It's secluded from the rest of the ship since it isn't technically SHIELD. I'll see if one of my agents can make the necessary changes Commander." Harry nodded. Fury left them and they were led through a rather maze like series of corridors and staircases before they finally went through a hallway with a row of similar doors on each side. There was another agent there who handed Harry a key while the original agent handed Steve a key card. Both wizard and super-soldier stared at the flat piece of plastic as the two agents left.

"What in the world is it?" Steve asked. Harry snorted.

"The hell I know." He stuck his key into the only door with an actual lock and turned it, hear a satisfying turn of the tumblers he entered.

"How do I even know what room's mine?" Steve asked from the doorway looking up and down the hall uncertainly. Harry shrugged as he dumped a small pouch out on the bed. The room was adequately sized and had a built in wardrobe across from a small door opening to an economical bathroom. Walking back over to the rather flabbergasted blond, Harry leaned over the card and looked it over without touching it. Blinking at the number he glanced up and down the hallway. The doors had numbered plaques next to it.

"I think you're in that one over there?" He pointed to the room across from him. His room was the last on the left while it appeared Steve's was the last on the right. There was another door in between them at the end of the hall, and Harry guessed that would probably belong to Bruce. He walked over to the door and saw the strange box shaped thing attached to the handle. There was a neat slice on the right hand side and a few glass panels next to the slit that looked like they might light up.

"I think you need to slide it." Harry said pointing to the slit and motioning with his hand. Steve blinked then tried it. The little lights blinked then turned red. They tried the handle. Still locked.

"I have a feeling this is going to take a while." Harry muttered staring at the square quizzically. Steve nodded rather glumly. They tried turning the thing a few times and finally it clicked green and Steve was able to open the door. Harry glanced into the room. It was a similar lay out, and looked like there were a few more things that were made out of plastic in the room. Steve plopped his bag on his bed and started unpacking. Harry fiddled with the door and both breathed a sigh of relief when Harry was able to wedge it temporarily open. Harry went back across and started dragging stuff out of his bag. Steve paused and watched in amazement as Harry pulled a broomstick and then placed it on the gun rack over to his desk. The fact that he pulled out items that looked equally strange after all; a cauldron, a box carrier that looked similar to medicine bags he'd seen carried when he was younger, though it was entirely wooden, and a stone basin, kept Steve staring. After Harry pulled out some weird looking blade type thing, Steve wasn't nearly as startled when out came a trunk. Instead he felt his mouth fall open when Harry opened it, stepped inside, and _disappeared._

Running over he looked into the opening and felt his mouth drop open further when he saw _stairs _leading down out of sight. "Harry?" He called uncertainly.

"Yeah Steve?" Harry yelled back.

"What are you doing?" He responded.

"I'm just getting some books out of my library!" He heard Harry reply. Curiosity piqued Steve asked back. "Can I come down and see?"

"Sure!" Came back and Steve gingerly swung his leg over the edge and set it down on the surprisingly sturdy stone stair under his shoe. Soon he was climbing down into a rather large space. One side had a seating area around a _real life fireplace_ while the other side was rows and rows of bookshelves.

"Whoa," he said.

"Interesting right?" Steve heard from his left, and he turned to see Harry standing there in a doorway to _another _room. He glanced around and saw two more doors, one on each wall not containing the fireplace.

"I can't believe it." He whispered. Harry chuckled.

"It's magic Steve." Harry said as he slipped back into the room he had stood in the doorway of.

"I know but...I don't get how or why..."

"How this is possible, why is this possible or why I have so many books or need all this room?" Harry called back, the sound muffled before a small thump sounded followed by a curse. "Blasted stacks!" Steve heard Harry growl. Looking through the door he found another room much like the one he was standing in, except instead of a seating area this was more like a study or an office with a heavy wooden desk and plush armchair against one wall and oil lamps lit. Harry stood on a short stool trying to get a book down. He stepped over reached up and grabbed it. Which earned him a glare and a muttered thank you.

"You're short," he said with a smile and earned a huff.

"Yes, Mr. Tall, that's your ego talking, try the next number!" Harry replied stepping down, several books in his arms.

"Why are you in here anyway? I mean..." Steve asked and Harry smiled.

"Bruce a problem with his other side and I promised I'd look into a solution for him." Harry replied.

"His mutation?" Steve asked. Harry nodded.

"Bruce, as you know, was an unfortunate pawn-slash-victim in a study to create more soldiers like you Steve. It created an alternate version of him that's at least a foot taller, extremely powerful and governed by his most volatile emotions." Harry said. "I won't go into much more, but it is suffice to say the poor man has lost a number of people and places over the past several years because of this calamity. Something he was doing only to benefit man kind. He was hoping to make humans immune to gamma radiation. However," Harry paused and Steve instantly understood.

"It failed and he was hurt because of it." He said flatly.

"Yes and since then he's been chased, bullied, and plotted against. He had to leave the country to escape the military. A General Ross, if I remember, has been particularly difficult. The poor man won't be chased anymore though." Harry said, the last few words a clear warning. Taking the stack he left, Steve trailing after him. Harry hopped, a bit unsteadily, out and plunked the books down while Steve got out. He then shut the trunk and reopened it. Steve blinked in surprise when he saw that it no longer held stairs but rather looked normal and was filled with normal clothing and... Robes?

He picked up a stack and poked at it. He blinked in surprise when a sheet of parchment slipped from between and fell. Harry glanced up from putting something away in the bottom drawer as Steve scooped it up. In childish scrawl was a note:

_DADDY!_

_ I LUV U! GET THOSE BAD GUYS AND COME HOME SOON! I MISS YOU! _

_ TEDDY_

Under it was a rather simplistic drawing of a black haired stick figure holding the hand of smaller one between a house and tree. Harry held out a hand silently and Steve passed it over. Harry read it then carefully smoothed out the edges a bit before pinning it on a board above the desk under the gun rack.

"You've got a kid?" Steve said after a few moments of helping the younger man unpack. "You're, uh, rather young. You look about my age." Harry glanced up.

"I was Teddy's godfather, however after his parents passed away in the war I adopted him. I've been raising him with his grandmother for the past five years." He said simply. He closed the trunk once it was empty then reopened it. This time he pulled out weapons, a few different items, and two picture frames. One was a group of young men and women, the other was of a little boy, obvious his son. That photo he placed carefully next to the letter. The one, who Steve guessed were his friends, he placed on the small nightstand next to his bed.

"So you're what... Twenty-four, twenty-five?" He asked as Harry put both pictures on the desk followed by what appeared to be a journal, parchment, quills and a small variety of ink pots.

"Twenty-three at the end of next month." Was his only response. "Teddy's five. He was born back in April. Was almost an April Fool's baby, which would have suited his parents quite well. His father was a known trouble maker, and his mother was an adorable klutz who loved to laugh."

"I see," Steve said awkwardly. Harry merely glanced up with a relaxed expression.

"I'm going to tell you something rather bluntly Steve," Harry said, "the only reason I'm here is because I'm following orders. As soon as my duties are done I'm going to go home and hug my kid til he screams. I'm going to help Bruce, whether I take him home with me or not is his decision. I got my goals. What about you?" The taller man felt rather bewildered then rallied.

"I want to learn about this world, I want to find out about the people I left behind. I got a promise to keep with a girl I love." Harry nodded at the statement. "She's British." Harry blinked in surprise and laughed.

"If you need a place to stay while in Britain, you're welcome to stay. I've got twenty bedrooms, and nobody to use most of them." Harry said with a wide smile.

"How the hell do you have a house with twenty bedrooms?" Steve asked as Harry shut his trunk for the final time it seemed.

"It's a manor that's been in the family for over three hundred years." Harry replied.

"Jesus."

* * *

The two were trying to figure out where the hell Bruce's lab was when an agent found them and led them to it. Waiting there was Fury and his assistant Agent Hill. Coulson and Romanoff were in a corner, Romanoff was watching Bruce carefully, but wasn't as tense as when they went to request his aid.

"Commander, Captain, we believe that we have located Loki." Fury stated. "I want you two and Romanoff to go there and head him off. Iron Man will be meeting you en-route."

"Iron Man?" Steve asked.

"Anthony Edward Stark, prefers to be called Tony." Harry said. "We've got to change, unless you'd like us to go unprepared?" He said eying Fury. The man nodded briefly.

"The jet will be flying out in thirty minutes. You better be on it." Fury said warning in his voice.

"Where are we headed, sir?" Steve asked as Harry stopped at the door.

"Stuttgart, Germany." Fury said. Steve frowned but followed Harry out muttering.

"Why is it always Germany?"

* * *

A/N: AHAHAHAHAHA! Two chapters in one day! WHOOOP! Actually, it's technically three, although the third on is for much later on. I'll try to get chapter four up soon, but I also have other works that have been sitting there going 'yo update me' for a while now. Let me know what you think please!


	4. Chapter 4: Loki's Capture

A/N:

So I don't know if all you gen fans out there have read "I See the Moon" by hctiB-notsoB, but if you haven't you should. It's a really interesting take on Harry and Bruce's relationship, and I won't tell you any more than the fact I always laugh and reread it. It's still ongoing and already 10 chapters, but I'm pretty sure we'll have plenty more chapters in the future. Seriously though, it's a great gen crossover.

To the Reviewers:

Thanks for the correction on the names, it's great to know that you have my back when my brain remembers something incorrectly. Moving on, I'm happy with all the support, but also thankful that there isn't any questions, that means I'm not confusing anyone right? If I am, please send me a review or even a PM, as long as it's not a flame, I'll respond happily.

Dedicated to: All the readers who support me and tell me they love the story. I hope I can write this til the end with you _all_ still saying that, and all the nay-says bite their tongue and turn as green in envy as our adorable Hulk.

Disclaimer: This is a story that takes a trip away from the Canon. One, Harry is a single father and isn't married to Ginny. Two, he's working with the Avengers. Plus, as neither Stan Lee or JK Rowling, I can't say I own the truly amazing characters they are, I'm just borrowing them and making up something I hope people enjoy. Please remember artistic license and don't be too mad at me.

* * *

_**Pear Shaped**_

_Definition: something that's gone wrong, becomes a disaster _

Chapter 4: Loki's Capture

"So..." Harry said, "is that made of Lycra?" Steve glanced down at his suit then back at Harry who was in a tight fitting blood red robe, black leathers with the hood drawn up, face totally obscured. Steve was even surprised to see that the man looked taller and that his voice was no longer a soft, almost comfortably familiar lilt, but rougher and deeper without any accent.

"I have no idea? What is Lycra?" Steve replied. Harry was saved from another explanation because Natasha broke in instead.

"No, it's not spandex," Natasha replied from the pilot seat. Harry and Steve glanced at her. "It's a mixture of carbon thread and a special kevlar fiber. It was specially developed by SHIELD and Coulson purloined some for Captain America's outfit after Captain Rodgers was found, and unfrozen. Coulson was given permission to design your new outfit." Both men just blinked at her before nodding rather awkwardly.

"So it's Muggle made?" Harry finally asked.

"Why are you asking?" Steve replied glancing at the shorter man.

"I'm worried about whether it'll catch on fire if I'm near it long enough." Was the only answer because Natasha said, "We're here." Steve glanced out the window and muttered.

"Double joy."

* * *

Loki stood above the gala guests a sneer gracing his face. He'd already gotten one of the two things he was after this evening. One was the iridium required by the brainwashed scientist to build his contraption, the other, something even more pleasing, was soon to be taken. Raising his staff overhead he slammed it down. "Kneel before me!" He commanded to the crowd. People still fled left and right, trying to find away out. Others were clumped together. Women were crying and many men were shouting in outrage and fear over their predicament.

"I said..." He sent a powerful burst of magic causing the to stop and stare at him fearfully. "_KNEEL_!" His voice boomed over them, shocking them into stillness. Slowly the crowd knelt.

Loki smirked and lazily moved his staff in a half circle. "Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation." He paced smugly between them, parting the group staring balefully down at them. "The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel." He said coldly, his voice teasing over them. He disappears from his position and pops up in another place closer to the crowd. He sneers and the people closest cower back. His gaze slides over them then pauses on an old man shifted to stand from where he was kneeling.

"Not to men like you," the man said once their gaze met. His hands were folded comfortably in front of him, his face frank, and his gaze unyielding.

"There are no men like me," Loki stated lowly, arrogantly. The old man's gaze was unyielding, almost dismissive.

"There are _always_ men like you." He retorted, the drawl of experience and disgust just as heavy as his accent. Loki's eyes lit with rage. Energy crackled as the trickster swung up his staff before swiftly pointing it at the upstart.

"Look to your elder, people," he drawled maliciously, a bright power gathering in jewel of his scepter, "Let him be an example!" Suddenly a burst of light powered itself flung itself forward, however it was intercepted and reflected back onto the demigod. He flew back a few feet, the people near him scrambling out of his trajectory. He never noticed the dark figure the popped almost silently behind him. The people near the figure stared up at it in shock as it held a finger to his unseen lips in a silent bid of quiet.

"You know," Steve said straightening, his suit glowing faintly, "the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing." Loki snarled if mute fury as he stood once more.

"The soldier?" Loki asked harshly, his voice roughened by the blast. Steve's gaze flickered over to Harry who was gliding almost gently forward behind the taller man. "A man out of time." Loki hissed cruelly, snidely. Ill humor was evident in his words and features. Harry nodded to him and Steve blinked back in slight understanding as he inclined his head. The pair would try to subdue them while Agent Romanoff would oversee things from the quinjet.

"I'm not the one out of time," Steve replied feeling his body tense as he heard Romanoff fly in.

"Loki drop the weapon and stand down." She intoned through a loud speaker. Harry felt the sudden surge in power and watched as the villain in front of him suddenly attacked like a rabid animal. A powerful beam of light blasted its way towards the jet which quickly maneuvered out of the way. Steve swung his shield at the man while Harry immediately spelled a number of shields and wards around the fleeing Muggles. Harry watched as Steve quickly engaged the man trying to time the correct moment to help subdue him.

Loki blasted another ray of power at the lowly creature in front of him, smirking and sneering in derision at the uncouth battle tactics. Steve swung at the man, usually his shield as a battering ram as Loki brought his scepter down with surprising force. Steve dodged a quick parry but wasn't fast enough to prevent the opposite end from slamming into his head knocking him back. Harry put another surge into his shields before casting a powerful banishing charm at Loki. The man half turned as he heard the shouted incantation but wasn't able to defend himself as he was suddenly picked up and thrown against a parked car. Harry offered a quick hand up to Steve who nodded in thanks after taking it and getting pulled to his feet.

"I'll stay on defense if you can keep him busy," Harry told him. "Maybe Romanoff can get a clean hit."

"Not likely," Steve said with a quick pant, as he shook off the head blow. "It's more likely to hit one of the civilians." Then he flung himself forward to meet Loki using his shield as cover. An array of light flashes passed over him towards the malevolent black haired man. Mentally thanking his new colleague for the distraction and defense Steve charged at the dark haired foe like a raging bull. Knowing that the civilians wouldn't be endangered too much allowed him to focus more of his energy towards the fight ahead of him. Natasha above watched the by play as the two slammed into one another parrying blows.

"The guy's all over the place," she muttered as Rodgers got slammed back into the concrete lip of a fountain. She felt a feeling of ease when Commander Phoenix blasted the man back after the captain kicked Loki's feet out from under him. The civilians were mostly gone and she watched Potter advance on the man's scrambling form. He did some strange movements with the wand summoning the demigod's scepter before disappearing and reappearing far out of the now angered man's reach. Captain America intercepted a rather wild charge trying to pin him. Harry must of yelled something, because Steve moved back allowing some spell to hit the man and make him freeze. The blond man straightened and then dragged the now bound, frozen, she didn't really know, demigod over to Harry who had made Loki's scepter vanish into some pocket of his. Suddenly a voice crackled over the intercom and her eyebrows raised as she recognized the voice.

"Agent Romanoff did you miss me?" Tony Stark said smugly. Suddenly "Shoot to Thrill," by AC/DC blared over her systems. Both the British wizard and American super-soldier's head went up as Iron Man came flying out from around a tall skyscraper. Suddenly a bright surge of light slammed out of the suit's hands hitting Harry and throwing him several feet back into the building Loki had just robbed.

"Commander Phoenix!" Natasha could practically read Rodger's shout. She ran a hand over her face before calling in to Fury.

"Fury," came the growled response.

"Sir, we might have a problem." Was all she said as she watched the super-soldier slug the now landed metal suited superhero. "A big one."

* * *

"Harry are you sure you're alright?" Steve asked for what was probably the fifteenth time in three minutes as they climbed aboard the small jet.

"Yes Steve, I'm fine," he bit out, as he shoved down his hood. "It'll take more than tin can wrapped idiot from doing me any serious damage."

"Hey, this is-" Tony tried to break in only to have a finger held up in front of him. His mouth audibly snapped shut. He did feel rather guilty over the fact he slammed someone into the building that hadn't deserved. And he may deserve having the same done back, but there was no way in hell he was saying that so he took the billionaire's way out and shut up. Harry, seeing the man had some kind of reason, not a normal one mind you, but some, made him cut back some of his animosity.

"Mr. Stark," he said, "You are already trying my last nerve. Please silence yourself before I begin talking to you like I do my five year old son. Now, since we're all aboard and the jet," he turned to glare down at the still stunned and bound Loki, "does anyone else consider the fact we caught him rather peculiar?"

"Him?" Tony said looking at the man dismissively, "I think-" Harry merely looked at him and he shut up, holding his hands up.

"It was a bit easy at the end." Steve said quietly. Natasha merely focused on them taking off. "I don't like it." Tony couldn't hold back the sarcasm this time.

"What? Rock of Ages giving up so easily?" He bit out, Harry merely stared down at the bound man. He was taking this all to well, and the look in his eyes was a clear sign he was plotting.

"I don't remember it being that easy. This guy packs a wallop." Steve said bristling in indignation.

"Hush," Harry said cutting off their argument. "Agent Romanoff you read the file on him and his brother Thor, as well as the man's companions. What is your opinion on how 'easy' he was captured?"

"While I wasn't able to see first hand how they handled Thor or his companions, there were several reports mentioning that they were on the same level of strength as Captain Rodgers. Thor was said to have unique powers as well. There are also concerns that the myths that we have on him and the others might have an inkling to his actual powers and abilities."

"He was and is the trickster god in Norse mythology, correct?" Harry said staring down at him.

"Yes," Tony replied though he still didn't see that harm in the man. He was bound by ropes and chains for goodness sake.

"I've never known a trickster without a back up plan. So I'm saying, as a son of the leader of a group of them, this smells... off." Harry couldn't shake the feeling like they were walking into something without all the facts.

"Let's just head back to base and see if we can't get it out of him there." Natasha replied. "We've got orders."

"You've got orders," Harry muttered. Staring down at the captured Asgardian Harry had a feeling that whatever Loki was planning wasn't going to be pleasant or beneficial to anyone's health.

* * *

They were flying for a short while when suddenly their jet was battered by an onslaught of thunder and lightning. "Bloody hell!" Harry growled out as he was flung from his seated position to almost flat on his face against the metal floor next to Loki. The trickster's eyes seemed to laugh at his predicament and he had to bite back the urge to hit him with a stinging curse. "Pathetic creature," he drawled and Harry didn't hold back on the urge to flip the Asgardian the bird and he felt a slight surprise when the man's expression morphed into anger and offense. Seemed that some gestures were universal, literally. Or maybe the bastard had spent some time in ancient Rome or Greece. Offering the man, what could only be considered a smirk, he then pointedly ignored him.

"You okay?" Steve asked as he clung to his seat. Stark was standing and staring out the window his grip on the wall sconce keeping him upright.

"I'm fine, thanks," Harry replied shoving himself unsteadily up to his knees. He semi-crawled to Agent Romanoff.

"Where is this coming from?" She growled as she tried to maneuver the jet and keep it level.

"Can you level it out?" Harry asked and she gave a sharp nod. He glanced back and saw a look of fear under Loki's usual stoic and cold exterior. He wasn't the only one.

"What's the matter?" Steve asked, blue eyes observing the bound criminal closely. "Afraid of a little lightning?" Harry and Tony watched the man with Steve, observing every detail.

"I'm not overly fond of what follows." Was the cryptic response and Harry felt his eyes widen as the reference clicked. He only had time to say, "Oh shit." When a hole in the roof suddenly appeared and a 190 cm foot man plunged down through it, his hammer slamming into the floor along with him.

"Son of a bi-" Harry said surging forward, jerking his hood up, as the man grabbed the bound Loki and jumped out through the hole he made in the ceiling. "Bloody buggering hell." He snarled jumping up through the hole after them shifting into a blur of white.

"And now there's that guy." Tony said with a huff.

"Another Asgardian?" Natasha called over her shoulder.

"Dunno, but Harry just went out the hole after him. Think the guy's friendly?" Steve asked.

"Doesn't matter," Tony replied putting his mask down. "If he frees Loki or kills him, the Tesseract is lost." Stark turned to jump out but Steve stops him.

"Stark! We need a plan of attack!" Steve yells at him.

"I have one. Attack!" He deadpanned then jumped.

"For the love of..." Steve muttered as he quickly looked around then put on a parachute. Natasha watched it and shook her head.

"I'd sit this one out, Cap." She said glancing at him over her shoulder. He smiled at her wryly.

"I don't see how I can," he told her approaching the exit point.

"These guys are legends, they're basically Gods." she replied as the plane was battened by another jolt of thunder after narrowly dodging a bolt of thick lightning.

"There's only one God, ma'am." He answered, he gave her one final glance before saying and jumping out, "and I'm pretty sure they don't dress like that..." She watched him leave fighting not only the weather but a slight smile.

"Reckless idiots." She muttered getting ready to contact Fury.

* * *

"Where is the Tesseract?" Thor demanded from Loki as he landed them both safely on the ground. Neither man noticed the approaching white spot in the sky as it wheeled and dodged the precarious weather.

"I missed you too." Loki replied with a sneer.

"Do I look to be in a gaming mood?" Thor bellowed.

"Oh you should be thanking me!" Loki snapped back throwing him off and striding back to face him. "With the Bifrost gone, how much dark energy did the All-Father have to muster to conjure you here? Your precious earth." Thor dropped his hammer and quickly reached out to grip brother's shoulders.

"I thought you dead." He said, his voice losing the frustration and anger it held earlier. The comment seemed to throw Loki and a look of mixed feelings passed his features momentarily.

"Did you mourn?" He asked quietly. Above them an almost entirely white gyrfalcon perched itself grumpily on a branch contemplating whether or not to attack. It narrowed emerald green eyes circled in a black mask, the only other spot of color besides the black at the very tip of his wings and tail and the yellow of his clawed feed, before shooting up in a jagged line only over his right eye, in the evident shape of a lightning bolt shape.

"We all did," Thor told the mischief maker, "our father..." Immediately it was clear that was not the right thing to say. Loki's face hardened and he threw of Thor's hands.

"Your father!" He yelled at Thor. "He did tell you of my true parentage, did he not?  
"We were raised together. We played together, we fought together. Do you remember none of that?" Thor yelled back, a touch of desperation in his voice. Harry shifted uncomfortably. This made him worry about his son's future feelings. Would he consider Harry an inadequate father because he wasn't Remus, and that he wasn't blood and only distantly and weakly related?  
"I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me into an abyss. I who was and should be king!" Loki replied equally as loudly and as angry.  
"So you take the world I love as recompense for your imagined slights? No, the earth is under my protection, Loki." Thor threatened and Loki laughed. Harry shook his head and sprang from the tree gliding noiseless til he was nearly to the ground and changed back landing next to them. Both men jumped apart surprised.

"Do not think us weak." Harry told Loki softly. "The earth has its sentinels."

"And you're doing a marvelous job with that. The humans slaughter each other in droves, while my brother may ideally threat. I mean to rule them. That's why should I not..." Loki barked back. Both Harry and Thor frowned.  
** "**You think yourself above them." Thor said motioning to the other man and to the general area. Loki smirked.  
** "**Well, yes." Was the arrogant answer. Harry snorted in disbelief.

"You're just another delusional megalomaniac too fond of their own self worth!" Harry told Loki coldly. Harry spotted a glint of red and gold, but ignored it, the man had to know to stop and approach with caution.  
"Then you miss the truth of ruling, brother. A throne would suit you ill." Thor said in agreement.  
"I have seen worlds you could never dream of Odin's son!" Loki replied frigidly, his voice raised in anger. "I shall have the power of the Tesseract and when I wield it..."

"Who showed you this power?" Thor bellowed in anger. "Who controls the would be king?"

"I am king!" Loki snapped back.

"Not here on Earth you're not!" Harry snapped.

"Hand over the Tesseract! Give up such actions, brother! Come home!" Thor nearly begged.

"I do not have it!" Loki snarled.

"Where exactly is it then?" He asked as he pulled out his wand. Loki eyed the motions warily. Harry didn't bother subtlety and raised it's tip to point threateningly at the space between the brunet demigod's eyes. "Do not forget that you brother is only one of many protecting this world from the likes of you! You cannot use brotherly love as a shield between you and I! _I_ am not your brother and _I _ will not let you muck in things that do not belong to you or warrant your interest! I don't care if you go home, but return the artifact first!"

"Brother..." Thor said warningly as he moved to better defend him from the angered earthling.

"I have no wish to return home! Without the cube such actions are for naught! I have sent it off and know not where it has traveled to!" Loki retorted.

"You listen brother!" Thor growled when suddenly a flash of red and gold slammed into him throwing both several tens of feet away.

"I'm listening." Loki said sarcastically. He moved to leave but was hit by a strong series of enchantments. Then he was lying on the ground, frozen and bound once more. He glared balefully up at the wizard who moved to crouch next to him.

"Yeah, but you don't _hear_ that well do you?" Harry said equally sarcastically. Levitating the man, Harry wondered where exactly the 'Flying Tin Can Man' and the God of Thunder went. Staring from the outcrop into the crushed line of trees and bush he wondered if he cared enough to go chasing them down or wait for one of them to come back dragging the other like the cavemen they were trying to prove to be. "Dammit," he grumbled, as he carted the man after his brother and the billionaire.

* * *

Thor flew into the ground. Tony landed a dozen feet away. His mask went up and the two entered a staring contest after the blond man stumbled to his feet.

"Do not touch me again." Thor warned adjusting his grip on his hammer so it was half raised next to him.

"Then don't take my stuff." Tony replied with a glare flexing his hands into loose fists.

"You have no idea what you are dealing with!" Thor said in a decisive tone. Tony snorted.

"Uh...Shakespeare in the park. Doth your mother know..." Tony said moving in a bard-like stance while flourishing his hand. "You weareth her drapes?" The demigod's face reddened.

"This is beyond you metal man. Loki will face Asgardia-" Thor started to say when a loud bang and a flash of light distracted them both. They turned in an offense stance and saw the short man coming towards them, Loki floating behind him and occasionally, but not so accidentally, smacking into a tree trunk.

"And the maturity level of this conversation is riveting," Harry said drolly as he finally reached them. "I hope you two haven't fought for too long. We have more important things, and you're technically on the same damn side."

"Feathered friend," Thor said relaxing a bit. "Do return my brother to me so I may take him home to be judged."

"Uh... Yeah, can we wait on that a bit?" Harry asked him.

"Yeah, no he's not going with you." Tony said. Harry ignored him and focused on Thor.

"He's responsible a number of things here on earth. The first being the Tesseract. As a ruler of your country you understand that we must find out all we can before we surrender him to you. He must also stand charges for things he's done here. If they rule or decide to turn him over to you, I'm sure we can find a way to send you back once the Tesseract is found." Harry said.

"That is reasonable. What is your named Man Who Flew On Actual Wings?" Thor said moving to a comfortable stance as he returned the hammer to it's spot on his hip.

"I am Sir Harry Potter, Lord of the Noble and Ancient House of Potter and Black, Unspeakable Commander of the British Ministry of Magic. Upon the field and when my hood is raised I am simply called Commander Phoenix. It is an honor to make your acquaintance." Harry replied offering a hand. Thor clasped his forearm and Harry grasped his.

"Thor Odinsson, Prince of the Realm of Asgard, and ally to your home world, Earth. It is a pleasure to meet you. You must explain how you changed from a bird to a man. I had thought there were no more shapeshifters and magic beings here on this world. It was to my knowledge that many left or were dead after the wars against the Frost Giants." Thor said bluntly.

"Okay what? Hold on a minute." Tony broke in, fed up with being ignored. He was the richest man on the planet, as well as the most dashing and handsome one. He did not like being ignored. The two looked at him irritably.

"Yes?" Thor said grumbling as the two let go of the clasp and stepped back.

"I don't get what's going on. Why are you so agreeable? He just kidnapped our hostage." Tony said to Harry pointing at Thor.

"He was trying to reason with him and make him return home." Harry replied.

"So you were just going to let him leave with the guy?" Tony asked in disbelief.

"No, you slammed into him before I could get to talking to him about returning to SHIELD with us." Harry snapped back. "You have a habit of jumping to conclusions and causing concussions! And it's a bad one!" Tony merely waved the comment away.

"And what is he talking about shapeshifters and magical beings? About turning from a bird into a man?" He yelled. Harry notice movement as Steve jogged into the clearing while that last statement was being yelled.

"Harry turned into a bird?" Steve asked as stopped by them, eying the floating Loki with surprise before shrugging.

"Commander Phoenix did." Thor said nodding. Steve winced, he forgot to call the other man by his codename and glanced at him apologetically. Harry just waved it off.

"Is this another magical thing you can do? Like with the trunk?" Steve asked curiously. Harry nodded then shook his head.

"Kind of. It's-" Harry started but Tony interrupted.

"You actually turned into a bird and back? And what's this about a trunk?" The man asked in skepticism.

"Yes, I can transform into a gyrfalcon at will. The trunk is where I store many things. Steve is referencing it because it can turn into a large cavernous library, as well as apartment and hold as much as a small house if you open it in the correct ways."

"You people were not able to do that from the stories I heard from my father." Thor said curiously.

"You have to be lying, there's no way a trunk can compress space like that! It's not technologically possible as of yet. It might be within the next twenty to fifty years, but—" Tony babbled.

"It may not be possible on your planet with your technology but it is possible with magic." Thor interjected. Harry rubbed his forehead tiredly.

"Magic isn't possible!" Tony barked out.

"Then how do you explain my brother?" Thor yelled loosing his temper.

"He's an alien! It's probably some sort of—" Suddenly he went silent his mouth still moving. Steve glanced over at Harry who was levitating Loki once more after dropping he temporarily to cast another spell. He'd caught Harry's low worded _silencio_ and felt rather grateful. Thor glanced at him with mild interest. Tony kept talking and waving his arms.

"His mouth is still moving?" Steve asked. The three of them watched while Tony realized he wasn't being heard and was trying to make sound while making questioning gestures at his throat and looking like he was about to have a panic attack.

"He'll stop when he realizes there's no noise. Once he stops flailing and closes his mouth, I might lift the spell." Harry replied. He heard the distant roar of the jet's engines and turned towards them. "I'll explain it when I have a headache potion in me. But first, our ride's here to pick us up."

Natasha landed the ship and stepped out to greet them with her gun drawn. Seeing the silenced Tony with his hands still gesturing emphatically and mouth flapping she cocked an eyebrow at Harry.

"You were able to shut up Stark?" She asked and Harry nodded. She holstered the gun and watched Harry float Loki into the jet 'accidentally' bumping him against the wall, column and ceiling before not so gently placing him back on the floor. Turning to him she gave him a slightly amused smile. "You know, with that you have got to be my hero. It's almost as interesting as the pig thing and twice as useful."

"Thanks." Was all Harry could say as he climbed in. Thor looked at Steve questioningly.

"Pig?" The blond Asgardian asked.

"Don't ask me big guy, I don't have a clue in the slightest." Steve said taking a seat next to the increasingly interesting wizard.

"So..." Natasha asked following them all in. "Are good to head back to base now? Or is there someone else who we're expecting?" Harry paused at that before studying them all then looking at Loki.

"Actually yes, Agent Romanoff would you mind stopping in Britain real quick? I have a right hand person I need to pick up."

"I'll have to get it cleared by Fury."

"Oh I'm sure he'll agree," Harry said with an even wider smile, "I need that person just like Fury needs Hill or Coulson." Natasha looked at the Brit before nodding slowly. She made the call and after a few minutes of conference she looked back at Harry who was showing a few spells to a rapt audience of Thor, Tony and Steve. Loki had been knocked out.

"We're clear to go Commander," She said and Harry glanced up.

"Good, next stop Ottery St. Catchpole."

* * *

A/N: Ahahahahahaha! Now you are wonder who it'll be. You'll see in the next chapter. If you don't remember who lives in this town, and it's about three different families that have been mentioned before, then you should look it up or wait for the surprise. But this person has been mentioned in my reviews and after they were mentioned the immediately went into one of my later chapters since I love them so much. Now... Is this person going to be a romantic interest or not?


	5. Chapter 5: The Right Hand

A/N: Okay, I have another Chapter five on my other laptop, but since I still haven't gotten it fixed, I'm putting this chapter up instead! Please don't hate me!

Reviews: 3 you all! Still no questions and no pairings! I like plenty of them, but I want to see how long I can do one without making couples of all the members. I'm so looking forward to the next movie as well!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, but I am mighty fond of them. Please review and send your love for the fanfiction!

* * *

**Pear Shaped**

_Definition: something that goes wrong, becomes a disaster_

Chapter 5: The Right Hand

Harry stepped out of the plane with a sigh of relief. The small cottage hadn't moved from its last position so he wouldn't need to do another point me spell like the last time he had visited. But then again, what could one expect when the couple you were visiting was made up of a notorious and infamous prankster and a seer. It was practically common sense to expect weird things to happen. Ignoring the looks of confusion the rest of the group was giving him about stopping in the middle of nowhere next a rather large bush he strode towards it. The rest of the group watched him in a mixture of interest and confusion as he walked up to the bush and then _walked through it._

"Holy shit!" Tony exclaimed through his mask ignoring Jarvus' admonishment for language. Steve took it a bit better though he was rather surprised as well.

"Did he just disappear through a bush?!" Natasha asked sharply. Loki who hadn't seen the action merely sneered.

"Blind filth! What is so miraculous about disappearing through a bush? Do the commonalities done by smaller and equally stupid beings as you petty creatures confound you?! Once I become king I will—" His voice was cut off when Thor hauled him up and shoved him into the onboard supply closet.

"Shall we go after him?" Thor asked after finishing up. He loved his brother dearly, but he was quite annoying when he started ranting. _That,_ sadly, hadn't changed from their childhood.

* * *

Harry walked through the ward and winced when a few moments later he a loud thump of one of the others hitting it in an attempt to follow him. Since they were non-magical, with the exception of maybe Thor, Bruce, and Loki, he was guessing Tony had tried and been thrown away. Shaking his head he strode up to the bright blue door in the front of the orange polka-dotted house and knocked. After a few moments the door swung open and he was engulfed in a hug.

"Harry!" A familiar red head said with a wide smile. "What are you doing here? I heard from Ron that you were out of the country on business! Luna'll be pleased to see you."

"Hullo, George," Harry said with a smile as he stepped through. "I am out of the country, just stopped into …"

"Pick me up." Luna said coming into the living room. The red head merely sighed. The two were used to Luna's uncanny ability of knowing. After graduation her powers had fully emerged and the 'strange animals' she'd been seeing had cumulated into visions instead of abstract shapes that she'd mistaken as creatures. She still believed in them of course, but she also knew what she was seeing now. Her hair was still long and blond, her eyes still dreamy, but she'd grown a few more centimeters and filled out and had more curves than she did while in school. George held out and arm and she walked over to snuggle into him as he wrapped an arm around her.

"I still get surprised by how immediate your visions are." Harry stated with a grin. The blond smiled back.

"I haven't heard about any mission details through Commander," Luna said growing serious. Harry shook his head with a sigh focusing.

"You wouldn't, Unspeakable." Harry replied. George and Luna had started dating three years after Luna graduated and married roughly a year ago. Many of the members in Dumbledore's Army now worked within the Ministry as officials, Aurors, and Unspeakables. However, only three had moved past the regular grade into a higher one like Harry. Of those three, only Luna was female.

"How high does this go?" George asked worriedly. The joke shop, under both Harry's funding and George's marketing abilities, had prospered and expanded. Fred, having taken debilitating injuries during the Final Battle, was the backbone of the product department. His wife Angela, a nurse and former Gryffindor Quidditch Chaser, oversaw that he didn't overwork himself to the point of collapse. The WWW group had long since expanded into other fields, especially Magical Defense and had a long standing contract with the Ministry of Magic and Fred was even known to go in and work with the Unspeakables in the Developing Magical Defense Department from time to time.

"Nothing that would earn you money yet," Harry said with a bit of humor and the other man relaxed. Harry had only been on three assignments that qualified as 'profitable' for the Weasley twins' business, and all three had ended Harry and or his people into some of the direst of straights. "It is something that'll make Fred squeal and then panic about though." Harry cautioned and the other Weasley twin paled again. There were twenty-six classifications in the Unspeakables. Harry, being a commander, had clearance for all but the very top three unless under specific orders by the Department of Mysteries Head, Captain Wolfgang Peter Smith. The general public, unlike the Weasley twins who clearance at about twelve since they were contractors and Luna who as a Unspeakable specifically a Lieutenant had a clearance of maybe fifteen in peace time but up to the highest when during a crisis or a mission, had a clearance of roughly nine depending on their specialties and general intelligence. Those of lower intelligence (Fudge would be an excellent example) might even bottom out at three, the same as Muggles. Those members in Azkaban, and depending on their lucidity, were ranged at one (comatose but retaining memories of deeds as a magical member of society but no ability to discuss it thus making them 'safe') to about eighteen(highly influential dark members of the Inner Circle or former and now rouge Unspeakables that were still functional in any sense).

"What's the clearance Commander?" Luna asked before earning a glare of reprisal. Although she was a lieutenant and served as Harry's personal aide and secretary, she had been with the department for over three years and made this casual slip up from time to time. Harry having been her commander for roughly seven, nearly eight years, made it easy for her to follow, but it led to a lot of familiarity that tripped up the blond. "Sorry." Harry nodded stiffly before saying.

"You're going on official duty, Unspeakable, don your robes." Harry ordered her. Luna nodded and kissed George on the check before vanishing down the hall. George eyed Harry worriedly. Harry glanced at him with a brief smile.

"I'll bring her back in one piece, George, you can count on that." The taller wizard nodded and the two caught up on the different things that had been going on while Harry was away on vacation then on work. The witch returned while the pair was arguing about presents for Teddy.

"You are _not_ going to get my five year old a racing broom! He already had three different models of training brooms and two different ball sets _with_ hoops! All from you and Fred if I might add!" Harry snapped back.

"You can't still be sore about me and Fred getting his first training broom for him! You just can't!" George yelled back. Harry scowl grew darker at that mention and the red head's mouth snapped shut and he stepped back.

"I _told_ you I was getting him one for his first birthday. _I told you and you two went out and got it for him for Christmas! _Nearly EIGHT months of planning for his first birthday and you go ahead and—" Harry said before growling incomprehensibly making the red head back up further.

"I'm ready Commander Phoenix." The now red robe garbed witch said. Her robes were lined with pewter instead of gold, and the borders a matching black and gold to Harry's denoting her position as an Unspeakable in the Hit Wizard groups as well as who her commander was. Harry straightened and brushed at his robes irritably before nodding.

"Very well," Harry said stiffly. He glared briefly at his Lieutenant's husband. "I'll let you two make your goodbyes. I'll be outside when you're finished Luna." His red robes swirled around him before he strode through the door letting it snap quietly shut behind him. Luna turned to George and offered him a dreamy smile.

"You're going to be careful right?" Her husband asked with a note of worry in his voice. Her dreamy and dazed expression sharpened and grew warm.

"Of course I am," Luna said shifting closer and wrapping her arms around his neck. Automatically, George curled his own around her waist tugging her closer. "You know Harry won't let anything happen to me. We haven't lost a wizard or witch yet since he became Commander. Plus I have my Magic ConCom and cell phone so you can reach me through them." George was silently thankful for his father's interest in Muggle items and Hermione's patience in teaching the Weasleys how to use them. It allowed the whole group to keep in touch easier. It made for interesting timed calls from strangely named places like Timbuktu and Budapest, but he had never been more thankful than to receive that first phone call after Luna and Harry had finished a mission and called to tell him that they'd be home in a few hours.

"Call me when you're finished or if you need help?" He whispered against the soft skin of her neck and he breathed in the scent of her hair. He smiled softly before moving past and kissing her forehead. Luna smiled at her husband before nodding. Their lips met and they tasted each other's familiar flavor. Luna a mix of tea and mint, George almost spicy from the Pepper Imps he had when he was thinking things through. "Stay safe," he whispered when the broke apart and she picked up the bags she'd dropped to the floor during their embrace. Pausing at the front door she glanced over her shoulder dreamily and said.

"I'll be back, and that's not a promise. It's a vision."

* * *

Harry appeared back through the bush with a slender figure that was even smaller than him. The woman was smaller than anyone else aboard, a tiny delicate thing topping off at probably five-three, five-four. Her long blond hair was French braided and her eyes a pale blue that was a mixture of alert, dreamy, and gentle. Her pale form was garbed in a similar outfit to Harry's although it wasn't as stately or impressive.

"Lieutenant," Steve straightened at the use of a military term, as did Natasha. Tony merely smirked charmingly which Luna ignored. Thor cocked his head at the tiny thing but refrained from saying anything, the last time he had underestimated a woman he'd been shot by a gun holding lightning in its grasp. He had no interest in repeating the experience, especially with someone who had the Man Who Flew on Actual Wings abilities. "Lieutenant," Harry repeated, "these are the… Avengers?" It was a question and those entirely familiar with the term shifted a bit awkwardly. Luna merely nodded. "The one in blue and red is Captain America, or Captain Steve Rodgers," Luna bowed and Steve copied it rather awkwardly. "The one in battle dress," Tony smirked at the word dress, "is his highness Prince Thor Odinson of the Planet and Kingdom Asgard," Luna bowed lower this time and met Thor's clasp and well met with a bright smile. "The red head is Agent Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow." The two women checked each other out before giving each other a nod. Harry pointed at Tony, "The beaten up flying tin can man calls himself Iron Man, I personally prefer idiot man. When he's out of that contraption he calls himself Anthony "Tony" Stark. If he pisses you off I won't save him." Luna's grin was slightly feral as she looked the man over. Tony shot Harry a dirty look. "You piss her off there will be nothing I can do for your hair or suit." The billionaire cocked an eyebrow in question both magical folk smiled innocently putting the billionaire on edge. Maybe he wouldn't piss them off immediately, it seemed healthier that way.

"Everyone this is my right hand and aide, Lieutenant Artemis. When we're out of uniform she goes by Luna Weasley." Harry finished. The group did a series of polite comments.

"Let's go shall we?" Steve said as he ushered them aboard. "Ma'am," he said stepping aside for Luna and Natasha to go ahead. Harry smiled at him and Thor studied it before following the women and the wizard aboard. Tony sneered but stumped aboard. Letting out a breathe, Steve glanced around the leafy hollow and climbed aboard as well.

* * *

Staring out through his window on the second and top floor of their small rather plump cottage, George watched as the strange contraption flew off with his wife. "Just come back safe and in one piece Luna," he murmured. "That's all I'm asking." Gripping his wand he then turned to the fireplace and grabbed the floo powder. It was time to get the Floo vine going and the Weasleys, Longbottoms, and other friends and family notified and prepared. Harry coming here specifically was a sign that something big was going on, no matter how he underplayed it. So, by George, the prankster smirked at the pun, he was going to make sure all of Wizarding Britain was prepared and armed.

After all, the Weasleys always, _always_ put family first.


End file.
